Last night, my 10-year-old son, Alex, was at the kitchen counter, wolfing down spaghetti after baseball practice, when he broached a familiar subject: “Mom, can I get Fortnite?”
Though I was in the middle of my meatball, my answer was a firm “no.”
“Mom, do you realize I’m the only kid in my grade who doesn’t have it? At lunch, when the boys are discussing the latest Fortnite updates, I feel completely left out. It really sucks!” His use of “excluded” struck a chord with my inner seventh-grade self who desperately wanted to fit in.
He continued, “I get why you’re against guns. You think these games desensitize people to violence, but I promise I won’t let that happen to me. I just want to play with my friends. How about I write you a persuasive essay on why I should be allowed to have the game?”
I chuckled at the idea of my son, who usually avoids writing, volunteering to craft an essay. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel compelled by his thoughtful reasoning. As someone who has worked in law, I appreciated his ability to tug at my heartstrings while making a rational argument.
For a fleeting moment, I considered the possibility of allowing him to play. But then I recalled my younger daughter’s words after an active shooter drill: “Everyone was crammed under the desk when a boy farted, and I started laughing, but I stopped because of that terrible thought. Then I felt like crying.”
The truth in today’s world is alarming. Gun violence continues to rise, and educators are reporting an increase in hateful behavior and a decrease in empathy among students. The headlines regarding male violence blur together, making it hard to process.
As a lawyer focused on women’s rights, my concern for my daughter is immense. However, I find myself equally worried about my son. The pressure on boys is overwhelming. They receive confusing messages: we encourage them to be sensitive yet tell them not to cry; we expect them to respect women but often undermine their abilities with phrases like “you throw like a girl.” We urge them to succeed at all costs but also to be kind and fair. We stress that violence isn’t the answer, yet we allow them to spend hours playing Fortnite, a game centered around shooting to kill.
Our children are bombarded with these contradictory messages while navigating an increasingly frightening reality. Across schools in the nation, students are being hidden away as a survival tactic. Even the youngest kids grasp that these scenarios are terrifyingly real. For parents, the routine of active shooter drills is nothing short of distressing. It’s no longer a question of if another gun tragedy will occur, but rather a hope that it stays far from our loved ones.
I understand that video games themselves are not the cause of mass shootings. Many argue that Fortnite is cartoonish, devoid of blood, and promotes teamwork. Other parents say, “It’s not that bad; all the kids are playing.” But my experience with countless students across the country leads me to listen to child psychologist Dr. Emily West, who states, “Research shows that playing violent video games often correlates with increased aggression and reduced prosocial behavior.”
Like any parent, I want my child to feel included. But can I truly allow my son to spend time in the basement playing violent video games while other kids are in real danger?
Setting boundaries as a parent is never straightforward. Are violent movies acceptable if video games are off-limits? Can he play at a friend’s house but not ours? With violence, explicit content, and hatred so readily available, it’s challenging to determine which issues require immediate attention and restriction.
In a world where everyone seems to be racing toward the lowest common denominator, making tough choices about what to allow and what to restrict feels essential. I imagine it might be easier if parents had open dialogues and supported each other through these decisions.
As summer approaches, I secretly hope Fortnite fever will fade away. Perhaps a new baseball video game will take its place? If not, I can assure you this won’t be the last time my child is left out of the latest trend. Who knows, maybe next time, he won’t be the only one missing out.
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Summary
In this article, a mother shares her reasons for denying her son the popular video game Fortnite. Despite his arguments about feeling excluded from his peers, she reflects on the broader societal issues of gun violence and the mixed messages that boys receive about masculinity and violence. Ultimately, she emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries for children in a world filled with conflicting messages.