It’s amusing when parents with older children tell me that I’m in the “easy” phase of parenting. Honestly, I can’t recall a time when being a parent felt easy. There have been different stages, certainly, but simplicity has never been a part of the equation. Even pregnancy can be a rollercoaster ride; in the early days, you’re battling fatigue and morning sickness, during the middle, you start to waddle, and by the end, you feel like a living planet. But all of that is a prelude to the experience of holding your child for the first time—an image that feels perfect, yet fades quickly.
Bringing a newborn home marks the beginning of an 18-year (or more) journey filled with unexpected challenges. So why do so many parents downplay the difficulties of those initial days? Are they genuinely trying to be helpful? Parenting is an ongoing series of evolving trials, and it’s pointless to rank them. It’s crucial not to romanticize the hardships of early parenthood, and here’s why.
That initial moment of love can be misleading. For some, the birth experience is idyllic; the moment they see their child, it feels like an instant connection. They envision a future full of joy and wonder. However, for many, the transition from pregnancy to motherhood is jarring—filled with sleepless nights and relentless crying. It’s a time when every bit of advice from friends can feel grating, especially when they suggest things like “sleep when the baby sleeps,” as if that were even possible during sleep regressions.
Unhelpful comments can lead to feelings of inadequacy for new parents. I’ve heard it said that children become more difficult as they grow, which only adds to the anxiety. If I’m struggling now, what does that mean for the coming years? Such well-meaning remarks often sow seeds of self-doubt. I found myself questioning if my son’s restlessness was a reflection of my parenting. Was he getting enough nourishment? Was I doing enough?
The reality is that the challenges of parenthood are ever-changing. From the moment he was born, sleep became a luxury. My son relied on short naps, keeping his parents—especially me—wide awake. By three months, we discovered he would only sleep while nursing, and soon after, he demanded the sound of running water to drift off. These preferences transformed over time, but they always required adjustment.
New parenthood is a significant transition. You’re learning about an entirely new individual, and it’s essential to recognize that every child is unique, regardless of their siblings. It’s entirely normal to find this process challenging, and it’s unfair to label the early days as “easy.” While some parents may find the adjustment smoother than others, it doesn’t mean it’s universally simple. New parents need encouragement and understanding, not phrases that breed self-doubt. So let’s stop telling those with infants that they have it easy—parenthood is a blend of beauty and chaos.
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Summary
Parenting is a complex journey filled with unique challenges at every stage. The idea that early parenthood is “easy” undermines the real struggles new parents face. Each phase brings its own difficulties, and it’s essential to offer support and understanding rather than comparisons or unhelpful advice.