During my childhood, I often heard the adage, “it takes a village.” Back then, my understanding was limited to the notion that neighbors and friends’ parents had the authority to correct me when I misbehaved, and I should heed their guidance. However, my partner recently illuminated a deeper meaning behind that age-old saying, imparting wisdom to our children that will resonate for years to come.
My partner, a 6’3″, 200+ pound black man, was nurtured in the inner city by a resolute single mother during the ’70s and ’80s. She was determined to shield him from the dangers of his environment, instilling strong values and a sense of integrity in him. Now, as an adult, his commanding presence naturally garners respect, often appearing intimidating to others.
About a year ago, we settled into a townhouse adjacent to a neighborhood park. From our backyard, enclosed by a chain-link fence, we had an unobstructed view of the park. Shortly after our arrival, I noticed a group of boys—around five to eight of them, aged 8 to 12—who visited the park frequently.
Each day, I was disheartened to hear their language peppered with expletives. One afternoon, after a particularly graphic remark from one of the boys, I called out to them, demanding they cease the offensive language or leave the park. I received eye rolls and snickers as I ushered my three children indoors.
As spring approached, the boys returned to the playground after a long winter. On one occasion, while we were celebrating my one-year-old’s birthday, my eldest daughter and her friends ventured to the park. When they were called back for cake, the group of boys approached our fence, shouting that they were returning a Nerf bow and arrow my daughter had left behind. My partner instructed them to wait while he went inside.
When he emerged a moment later, the boys looked uncertain, apprehensive about what might happen next. With his strong voice and natural scowl, he introduced himself as Mr. Carter. He expressed his pride in their honesty for returning the toy instead of keeping it.
As they listened attentively, he handed a bag of candy to one of the boys, instructing them to share it. While they enjoyed their treat, he recounted his own childhood experiences, acknowledging their youthful impulses but emphasizing that when they see his family, he expected them to refrain from using inappropriate language. The boys nodded in agreement, responding with “Yes, sir” and “Okay, Mr. Carter,” before he wished them well for the evening.
Today, while my partner was at work, there was a knock at the door. The same boys stood there, proudly holding one of my daughter’s arrows that had become lodged in a tree. They explained how they had spent hours trying to retrieve it, eager for me to tell Mr. Carter about their good deed. Their beaming smiles revealed a newfound sense of accomplishment, and I couldn’t help but wonder if my partner’s conversation had inspired this act of kindness.
It’s easy to focus on discipline and corrections when children err. Mistakes are quick to identify, but how effective is scolding in fostering growth? By recognizing these boys’ good behavior and turning it into a teaching moment, my partner left a lasting impact that they will hopefully carry into their adulthood and share with future generations.
This is the essence of how a community can shape respectful, compassionate individuals.
For more insights into parenting and support resources, check out this article on our blog. If you’re interested in home insemination options, visit Cryobaby, a trusted authority on the subject, or explore this resource for information on pregnancy and fertility services.
In summary, a supportive community plays a crucial role in raising respectful and caring children. When we focus on positive reinforcement and mentorship, we create a foundation for future generations to thrive in kindness and integrity.