As the new season of our community’s youth baseball and softball league kicks off, we had initially intended to participate. However, before we could even register, the deadline passed us by unnoticed. It didn’t hit me until recently, as I encountered numerous families whose children are actively engaged in these activities, that we seem to be the odd ones out.
When I compare our children’s involvement in extracurriculars with those of our friends and neighbors, it’s apparent we are on the lower end of the spectrum. Just a few weeks ago, our 3-year-old joined his very first structured class—gymnastics. Meanwhile, our 6-year-old has dabbled in dance, swimming, gymnastics, ice skating, and back to gymnastics again. Our 8-year-old explored dance, swimming, and soccer before fully committing to gymnastics at age 6. This year, both girls joined Girl Scouts. Right now, each child participates in one gymnastics class weekly and the girls attend 1-2 Girl Scout meetings each month. That’s the extent of their activities—no musical instruments, no foreign language classes, no math tutoring, no drama or art sessions, no spring soccer, and no baseball either.
In all honesty, the main factors behind our decision are time, finances, and a touch of self-preservation. We aren’t ready to adjust our weeknight schedules to accommodate hurried dinners and late bedtimes. We prefer not to spend our weekends shuttling from one event to another, barely seeing each other until after dinner. Moreover, the financial burden of extracurriculars feels overwhelming, especially when we’re already investing in full-time daycare, after-school care, and summer camps. We want to ensure we can also manage the occasional family getaway.
Yet, it seems every family we know is enrolling their kids in far more activities than we are. This raises concerns about whether our reluctance is depriving our children of valuable experiences and growth. Conversely, I wonder if once we increase their commitments, it would be impossible to scale back. It feels as though we’re delaying a transition that’s inevitable, trying to maintain a sense of calm and simplicity in our family life for as long as we can.
We prioritize cooking dinner every school night and gathering around the table together. Some evenings consist of the kids grumbling about what’s served, while on others, we’re rewarded with insights into their lives that we might miss if we weren’t sharing that time. On weekends, my partner and I carve out moments for ourselves—whether it’s my afternoon jog, his trip to the comic book store, or a spontaneous date night. This time apart enriches our individual well-being and strengthens our relationship.
Every parent grapples with the fear of not adequately preparing their children for the future. I find myself wrestling with this fear, even as I remind myself of the many reasons our kids are thriving without an overload of activities. What if I’m overlooking something essential? They appear content, but I worry about missing opportunities for enrichment that might be available through more structured activities.
Recently, our 8-year-old has expressed interest in joining a gymnastics team, which would entail multiple practices each week and weekend competitions, not to mention the significant expense it would add to our budget. She’s not quite ready yet—she needs to advance a level before trying out, and even then, she must qualify. While I’m incredibly proud of her enthusiasm and talent, I also want to hold off a bit longer. For now, I’m opting out of this aspect of parenting.
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In summary, our family is currently navigating the decision to limit extracurricular activities for our children. We prioritize family time, financial balance, and emotional health over a packed schedule. While there are concerns about missed opportunities, we believe this choice allows us to enjoy a more peaceful family life for the time being.