Lifestyle
By Eliza Greene
Updated: Oct. 2, 2023
Originally Published: May 6, 2023
I first encountered my husband when I was just 21—old enough to be considered an adult, yet still very much a naive youth. Our connection wasn’t instantaneous, but there was an undeniable compatibility from the start. Love blossomed later, and once it did, I was completely invested. For nearly 15 years, he has held my heart. In the words of a popular character, he is my person.
While I can’t fathom my life without him, the nature of my love has evolved over the years. It’s not the same as it was when we were younger; both of us have undergone significant changes.
Initially, our relationship felt effortless and joyous. We were young and blissfully unaware of the weight of responsibilities, stress, and heartache. Our love was fresh, enchanting, and perhaps a bit superficial. That’s not to say we didn’t love each other deeply; we did, but our relationship had yet to face any real tests. Without the demands of parenthood, we spent our time freely, indulging in spontaneous adventures and late-night conversations. Life was uncomplicated when it was just the two of us.
As the years passed, the challenges of life, stress, and raising children began to test our bond. The carefree days of our youth seemed distant as we dealt with the realities of adulthood. We faced growing pains and tumultuous moments, realizing that even the most radiant relationships can become marred by ordinary life struggles.
At times, we lost sight of what truly mattered, becoming entangled in petty arguments about chores, finances, and the daily grind. We’ve had our share of angry exchanges and sleepless nights, often feeling exhausted and fractured. Yet, it was during these vulnerable moments that we grew and transformed.
The wide-eyed girl from my twenties loved a man who had yet to witness her at her lowest, and she hoped he never would. It’s astonishing how one believes they can conceal their flaws while sharing a life with someone. But eventually, the truth comes to light, often at the least convenient times. My husband has seen me at my worst, particularly during the harrowing days of postpartum anxiety, a challenging period for me. I felt shattered, but his presence ensured I was never alone.
I worried he might find me overwhelming, as I revealed parts of myself I wished to change. Yet, he loved me through it all, even when my self-worth wavered. Experiencing love during my lowest moments has profoundly impacted our relationship. It taught me that vulnerability has its own beauty, and flaws are just facets of who we are—even if we’re the only ones who see them that way.
Throughout the years, our emotions have fluctuated. We can feel both exasperated with one another and deeply in love at any given moment. Love is adaptable; nothing remains the same when faced with the passage of time and life circumstances. Change does not necessarily imply a negative outcome. Growth and evolution are natural processes in life, and love is no exception.
I don’t love my husband in the same way I once did, and that’s okay—because we are not the same people we were 15 years ago. We have both matured greatly, as individuals and as a couple. Tomorrow will undoubtedly bring different feelings than today, but that’s perfectly acceptable, as sometimes change can be positive.
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In summary, the love I have for my husband has transformed over the years due to the trials we’ve faced together. While it differs from our youthful romance, it reflects the growth and resilience of our relationship—showing that change can bring a new kind of beauty.