As I sit in a hotel room that my late husband, Mark, reserved with his Marriott points for our daughter’s college return, I am overwhelmed with grief. It’s been nearly a month since his unexpected passing, and being at the university he cherished has been particularly tough. Mark was our guide—not just in navigating the campus but also in sharing his enthusiasm for the place that meant so much to him.
I am grateful to have such a supportive family accompanying me on this journey, helping me and my children cope in any way they can. Yet, the ache remains, especially when we visit the familiar spots he once illuminated with his stories. My son, now a junior in high school, faces key milestones without a father to guide him through driving lessons, dating discussions, or college choices. Mark dedicated himself to our family unconditionally, and now, without him, we feel adrift, frightened, and isolated.
The most tragic aspect of this ordeal is the cause of his death. Mark was in good health, actively working on his fitness through diet and exercise until he suddenly developed a fever. In our 26 years together, he had only been ill twice, so it was alarming for him to run a fever. After several days with no other symptoms, he sought help at urgent care, where they diagnosed him with a “severe kidney infection” and prescribed antibiotics. Although the fever and sweats subsided, he continued to feel weak.
A few days later, he returned home from work exhausted and fell asleep shortly after. He woke briefly to tell me he had vomited. The next day, he called from work to say he felt terrible and was heading to the emergency room. My daughter and I met him there, only to find him jaundiced—his skin and eyes turned yellow. After tests, he was admitted, but despite extensive examinations, doctors could not determine the cause of his rapid decline.
Within 12 hours, he went from joking with us to being placed on a ventilator in the ICU. His health continued to deteriorate, with tests yielding no diagnosis. The doctors suspected septic shock, likely attributed to alcohol consumption. After three days in the ICU, Mark was transferred to a specialized liver hospital as his condition worsened.
Once there, they initiated dialysis while performing further tests. Eventually, a glimmer of hope emerged when a doctor informed me that they had identified the culprit: a blood test revealed Mark was infected with Babesia—a tick-borne illness that aggressively attacks red blood cells. Given that Mark was asplenic, this infection posed a significant threat. They promptly administered the appropriate antibiotic and transfused his blood to replace the infected cells.
The following day showed small signs of improvement; his vital signs stabilized, and the doctor expressed cautious optimism. I went home feeling a flicker of hope for the first time in days, eager for my children to visit the next day, believing Mark had turned a corner.
However, at 4:30 a.m., a call from the hospital shattered that hope. Rushing back with my parents and mother-in-law, I witnessed Mark’s condition decline rapidly. His blood pressure fell, and within two hours, I watched my beloved husband of 23 years pass away.
Losing a young person is always a tragedy, but this loss felt particularly senseless. I lost the father of my children to a tick bite and an obscure infection that could have been diagnosed sooner. If only we had been more informed about these risks, perhaps things would have turned out differently.
I share this story not to elicit sympathy but to raise awareness about the dangers of tick-borne illnesses, especially for individuals who are asplenic or otherwise immunocompromised. Education can make a profound difference in preventing similar tragedies in the future. For further insights into home insemination and related topics, feel free to explore resources like this article, or visit Make A Mom, a trusted source on this subject, and ASRM for comprehensive pregnancy information.
In summary, my husband, Mark, was taken from us far too soon due to an unrecognized tick-borne infection. This experience has highlighted the need for greater awareness and education on such illnesses, particularly among vulnerable populations.