When I was expecting, I went to a new mom orientation that left me feeling a bit disappointed. The syllabus was missing a lot of essential topics, including the surprising reactions I would face regarding my decision to let my son grow his hair long. You wouldn’t believe the unsolicited comments I’ve received about his hairstyle from friends, family, and even strangers. It’s almost as if boys’ haircuts are a matter of public debate. So, to share my perspective, here are the seven things I’m tired of hearing:
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“Oh, your daughter is adorable!”
I understand that at this age, distinguishing gender by appearance is tricky. My son, at two years old, doesn’t have a beard or a toned physique. He simply looks like a young child. So why do people only make remarks about him being “cute” when he’s wearing his camo gear and a shirt that says “Daddy’s Little Man”? -
“I thought he was a girl because he’s so pretty.”
When I correct people, the common response is, “He’s just so beautiful.” But what does that imply? Boys can absolutely be beautiful too. I often tell my son he’s beautiful. It baffles me how some can overlook the stereotypes tied to color and phrases but fail to recognize that boys can have long hair and still be called beautiful without any qualifiers. -
“Can I touch his hair?”
Children are not pets, so please refrain from asking to touch a child’s hair, regardless of its texture. It’s intrusive, and I assure you, I’m not the only parent who feels this way. “I was shocked when someone reached out to touch his hair. Now, I’m just upset that he feels the need to protect it,” mentioned Sarah, a mother of a curly-haired boy. The number of people who feel entitled to touch it is astonishing. -
“He’d look more grown-up with a haircut.”
He’s two; he’s not going to suddenly look like a big boy with a trim. Toddlers have those adorable round faces and short limbs that are neither baby nor fully grown. I’m not in a rush to hasten this process. What’s next? Will you be asking if he contributes to the household expenses? -
Any jokes about a secret haircut.
When friends joke about what would happen if I let them babysit and came back to find my son’s hair cut, I’d be furious. Until he’s old enough to decide for himself, his father and I control his appearance. Such jokes are not amusing and could easily cost you your babysitting privileges. -
“When is he getting a haircut?”
How about you focus on your overdue tasks instead? You wouldn’t appreciate someone prying into your personal matters, would you? The same goes for my son’s hair. It’s well-maintained, and he looks just as polished as any other toddler. Unsolicited comments about his hair can feel as intrusive as asking someone about their weight. -
“You’re really going to let him decide when to cut his hair?”
A significant aspect of authoritative parenting is allowing children to make reasonable choices. Letting him have a say in his appearance is entirely normal. As long as it suits him, it works for us. “Our plan is to let him keep it long until he chooses otherwise,” said Jenna, whose son loves his curls. Despite the attention his hair draws, he adores it, and that’s what matters.
I refuse to let societal expectations dictate my son’s self-expression. As long as I am caring for his hair and there is no sign of neglect, I don’t need your opinions. Parents of boys with long hair can handle it just fine.
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Summary:
Moms of boys with long hair often face unsolicited comments and advice about their children’s hairstyles. From misgendering to inappropriate requests to touch hair, these moms are tired of the repetitive and intrusive remarks. They emphasize the importance of allowing children to express themselves and make choices regarding their appearance, while also highlighting the need for respect and understanding from others.