Will You Really Manage to Cover the Costs of All Those Weddings?

“Will you really manage to cover the costs of all those weddings?” chuckled a volunteer while I was gazing into the incubator of one of my premature triplet daughters.

“Honestly, right now, I’m more concerned about bringing them home from the NICU,” I replied. This question about how my husband and I will finance the weddings of our six daughters has come up countless times since. If you’re a mother of more than two girls, I’m sure you’ve encountered it as well.

I understand it’s a common icebreaker, but the truth is, I don’t stress over it at all. Here’s why.

Outdated Assumptions

First and foremost, this line of questioning is based on outdated assumptions. Who says my daughters will all marry in the traditional sense? Perhaps they might choose to elope—hopefully, I’ll still get an invitation. They may opt for intimate ceremonies instead of grand celebrations. Or they could become successful entrepreneurs and whisk us away to a tropical destination where they exchange vows on the beach while we sip frozen drinks. (Now that’s a dream I’d happily support!) And let’s not forget that some of them might choose not to marry at all.

Weddings Without Extravagance

Additionally, marrying doesn’t have to come with an extravagant reception. My husband and I, along with our parents, organized a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank. A lavish wedding is a choice, not an obligation.

Fretting Over Future Concerns

I generally prefer not to fret about matters that are decades away. Do you worry about whether your sons will experience baldness? Or if your children will decide to start families? Such concerns seem distant, just like the topic of weddings. My daily challenges involve ensuring my daughters eat their vegetables, maintain good hygiene, and go to bed on time.

Current Worries

That said, I do have worries—plenty of them. I fret about excessive screen time, potential lice outbreaks, and the never-ending slime trend (can we please move past that?). I concern myself with dental health, bedwetting, and the ever-present threat of mean girls making my daughters feel pressured to conform.

Looking Ahead

Looking further ahead, I worry about financing their college education, which has fixed and escalating costs, unlike weddings. I also hope they grow up believing their voices are just as powerful as their male peers and that they won’t face additional hurdles in their careers simply due to their gender.

Marriage vs. Weddings

While weddings don’t keep me up at night, I do ponder marriage itself. I hope my daughters don’t rush into it before truly understanding themselves. I worry they might see marriage as a finish line rather than the meaningful partnership it should be.

So yes, I have concerns about my daughters. Right now, I’m more focused on homework and surviving those hectic hours before bedtime. But weddings? I don’t let that worry weigh me down. It’s simply not worth the stress.

Conclusion

In summary, while I have a myriad of concerns regarding my daughters’ upbringing, the notion of financing their weddings is not one of them. I believe that love and partnership come in many forms, and I trust my daughters to make choices that reflect their values.