Today, I experienced something I had only heard about from others dealing with invisible illnesses. Despite mentally preparing myself, nothing could have braced me for the confrontation I faced. A man yelled at me for using a disability parking space because, as he put it, “you look fine to me.”
Here’s how the incident unfolded:
I had a doctor’s appointment today located near a grocery store, so I decided to pick up some essentials while I was out. I possess a legitimate disability placard issued by my healthcare provider due to late-stage Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome—conditions I’ve been battling for almost 12 years.
Like many of you, I endure significant daily pain, often exacerbated by extreme fatigue. I’m meticulous about when I utilize my disability tag, as my doctor advised me to conserve energy whenever possible. I often hesitate to use it, fearing that someone else might need it more than I do. I typically reserve it for my worst days—the days when the pain overwhelms me.
Today was one of those difficult days. I parked in a disability spot situated a short distance from the grocery store, deliberately choosing one that wasn’t the closest available. After my shopping was complete, I placed my bags in the trunk when I noticed a man passing by with a slight limp. Unbeknownst to me, he had been observing me as I crossed the street to return my shopping cart.
Although I don’t have any visible injuries and can walk normally, I often pay for any exertion with increased pain, limiting my mobility. That’s when I heard him shout, “Why did you take a disability space? You look fine to me!” He continued, “I can’t walk!”
As I attempted to explain my situation, he began to walk away quickly, making it hard for me to keep pace. It became clear he was more interested in yelling than in hearing my side. I ended up yelling back, urging him to educate himself about chronic pain, Lyme disease, and fibromyalgia. I wanted him to understand that not all disabilities are visible and that I was not one of those who misrepresent their health. By that time, he had already distanced himself from me, and I wasn’t about to chase after him.
This encounter left me shaken. As I drove away in tears, I reflected on why he hadn’t opted for a regular parking spot closer to the grocery store. I also questioned the irony of his statement about not being able to walk when he had just walked swiftly away from me. It frustrated me that someone grappling with their own challenge could lack understanding or compassion.
I’m considering writing to my local newspaper to shed light on the reality that not all illnesses are visible. Judging others without knowing their circumstances only adds to the challenges we face every day. For those of us living with chronic pain and fatigue, the judgment from strangers amplifies our struggles.
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Summary:
Today, I faced an unexpected confrontation from a man who questioned my use of a disability parking space simply because I didn’t appear sick. Despite living with debilitating conditions, I often battle societal judgment regarding my disability. This experience highlighted the need for greater understanding and awareness around invisible illnesses.