As my son, Evan, continues to grow, the developmental differences between him and his peers become increasingly apparent. Among these, his inability to speak stands out as both a profound challenge and a source of heartbreak for our family. We often find ourselves yearning to hear his sweet little voice, wondering if it will ever echo the way it does for his younger brother, Noah. Every time Noah calls out to me, my heart swells with love yet aches for Evan. It’s a complex emotional landscape we navigate daily. How can I fully savor those moments with Noah while still longing for that same connection with Evan?
Evan has autism and also struggles with childhood apraxia of speech (CAS), a condition that many people understand less than autism itself. Although Evan is eager to communicate, CAS presents a significant hurdle; it disrupts his ability to articulate sounds consistently. This neurological disorder means that while his brain knows what he wants to say, it struggles to coordinate the necessary mouth movements.
To help Evan communicate, my husband and I decided to introduce some sign language. He learned to sign “more” and “all done,” which transformed our interactions. Prior to this, understanding his needs felt like an endless guessing game, and it was a relief to gain some insight into his desires. However, even with these signs, Evan couldn’t shake his head to indicate “yes” or “no,” so we knew we needed more options.
The choices available for enhancing communication can be both exciting and overwhelming. As parents, we constantly experience self-doubt about our decisions—from the birth plan to choices about education and extracurricular activities. For parents of children with special needs, these decisions can feel even more consequential. We often wonder what might happen if we delay or hasten certain actions. Time is an ever-pressing concern.
After much thought, we collaborated with Evan’s teacher to develop a communication book. A part of us hesitated, holding onto the hope that he might start speaking soon. But how fair is it to deny him a more effective means of expressing himself while we wait for something that may never come?
We filled the book with real images of items he encounters daily—his favorite snacks, specific juice brands, beloved toys, and even photos of familiar spaces like our backyard and his room. Initially, Evan could only handle six pictures at a time, but his progress has been remarkable. He can now flip through the pages and select what he wants, bringing those images to us.
It saddens me to think about how long Evan might have been trapped in his own thoughts without a way to convey his needs. Every parent strives to meet their child’s needs, and while I believe I’ve guessed correctly most of the time, I now realize that his choices often surprise me.
Recently, during a therapy session at home, Evan was upset while working with his therapist. As the day wound down and the sun began to set, I could feel the weight of a long day on him. He typically has a busy schedule filled with therapies and activities, and like anyone, sometimes he just needs a break.
This particular evening was different. With his new communication book, Evan flipped to the last page, which featured pictures of his family: me, my husband, his brother, and his aunt. To my astonishment, he selected my husband’s picture first, followed by mine, and handed them to his therapist. For the first time, Evan used his communication book to request his parents.
At just three years old, he could have asked for anything—ice cream or playtime—but he chose to ask for us. This moment reaffirmed that he has the same emotional needs as any other child, and sometimes, he simply wants his mom and dad. As parents, we too seek validation, and knowing that Evan can communicate his needs like any other child is a heartwarming milestone for us. In that moment, we embraced the bittersweet reality of our situation, grateful for the progress and yearning for more.
For further insights on parenting in similar situations, check out our other blog posts at intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, Make a Mom offers valuable resources on this topic, while the CDC provides excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In navigating the challenges of raising a nonverbal child with autism and apraxia, a mother shares the bittersweet journey of longing for her son’s voice. Through the introduction of sign language and a communication book, her son recently reached a significant milestone by expressing his need for his parents—demonstrating that the desire for family connection is universal, regardless of communication barriers.