If I were to create a list of priorities for anyone expecting a little one, maintaining a perfectly groomed bikini line likely wouldn’t be at the forefront. However, here I am, feeling like an outlier in this regard—much like a certain celebrity’s ex-partner, it seems.
In all honesty, can you really fault someone for wanting to hang onto a sense of allure? Pregnancy often strips away many aspects of sexy, so it’s understandable that I might wish to cling to the remnants of that feeling in my life.
I can already sense the eye rolls. You may think I’m being overly dramatic—what’s a few months of an unshaven bikini area in the grand scheme of things? Clearly, I’m missing the bigger picture.
However, the only thing I’m focusing on is the rapidly expanding forest just south of my belly button, and I’m eager to clear the area—immediately.
My attempts to take matters into my own hands didn’t unfold as planned. Instead of achieving the smooth, hair-free look I envisioned, I found myself navigating a whirlwind of emotions akin to the Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and finally, acceptance. For any pregnant women hoping for a clean bikini line, heed my warning before you tread this path.
The Setup:
As I turn on the shower, stripping down while giving myself a mental pep talk, I start to wriggle out of my maternity leggings. Surely, I can manage this. After all, I’ve been shaving for over a decade—how hard could it be?
But as I glance down, a flicker of doubt creeps in. I can’t even see my bikini line! It reminds me of middle school days when we’d stand by the lockers, tucking in our chins to see our toes. If your breasts were large enough to obstruct your view, you could pat yourself on the back for having mastered puberty.
Little did I know at 14 that I’d be doing the same thing at 30, but for entirely different reasons. My heart sinks as I realize my belly is now in the way, blocking my view better than any teenage development ever could.
Stage I: Denial
No way is my belly that big! Sure, they say you show earlier with a second baby, but come on. Maybe if I adjust my stance and prop my foot up on the tub edge… I can almost see what I’m aiming for…
Stage II: Anger
Oh, for crying out loud! Why did I think this was a good idea? Where is my husband when I need him? He’s the one who got me into this situation! Fine, I’ll just grab his hand mirror and make this work.
Stage III: Bargaining
Oh, divine forces of pregnancy, please let this work out. I’ve already made some progress, and I can’t just walk away now. I’m losing my independence—I can’t tie my shoes, I can’t manage bedtime for my child without risking injury to my unborn baby. Just grant me this one small victory, and I promise not to ask for anything else.
Stage IV: Sadness
Oh no, the mirror fogged up! As I futilely wipe it clear, despair fills the bathroom. I feel like a stranded whale—an enormous, pregnant whale with a half-groomed bikini line. My belly has completely obscured it.
Stage V: Acceptance
You know what? Forget this. There’s a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra in the freezer that’s calling my name. Not that I’ll be taking any grooming tips from that pint anytime soon.
In the end, pregnancy can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and sometimes it’s okay to let go of certain expectations. For those navigating similar journeys, you might find helpful information about pregnancy and home insemination at the CDC, and if you’re looking for a reliable product, check out Cryobaby’s home insemination syringe kit combo.
Summary:
Shaving your bikini line during pregnancy can be a challenging and emotional experience. As the body changes, many women find it increasingly difficult to maintain personal grooming standards. The journey often evokes feelings that mirror the stages of grief, ranging from denial to acceptance. While it may be tempting to try and keep up appearances, sometimes it’s best to embrace the changes and treat yourself to something sweet instead.