“I might just be overreacting,” my colleague Claire sighed as she recounted a disagreement with her boss. “Maybe I should just let it go and not be so emotional,” she added, hesitating with each word. Her internal conflict was palpable; she was torn between voicing her feelings and adhering to the societal expectation of being rational. Like many women, she struggled to validate her emotions.
Countless women have echoed similar sentiments or faced accusations of being “too sensitive.” Society dictates that we maintain a polished exterior—our attire must be impeccable, and our expressions must always be composed. A furrowed brow? Absolutely not—that indicates displeasure. We are taught to be rational, calm, and poised at all times.
But that expectation is unrealistic.
Humans experience a wide range of emotions. We can feel joy, sadness, excitement, and frustration. Unfortunately, society often dismisses the validity of women’s emotions, and men face similar challenges. While feeling happy and content is acceptable, expressing sadness or anger is not. The message is clear: women should stifle their feelings, as if they could simply vacuum them away and leave them unaddressed.
Yet, those repressed emotions don’t simply vanish. They accumulate, creating an overwhelming pressure that can lead to an explosion of feelings. We’ve all seen the consequences: if you dare to express your emotions, you risk being labeled as unstable or overly emotional.
I once found myself caught in this trap. Whenever motherhood brought me down or someone hurt my feelings, I would suppress those emotions until I could no longer contain them. But I’ve since realized that it’s essential to let those feelings out. Life can be challenging, and it’s okay to express when others have upset you or when you’re feeling hurt. Authenticity matters.
Recently, during a spirited discussion in a graduate class about feminism, I noticed a young woman named Sarah struggling to share her thoughts. Despite her polite attempts, the louder voices in the room drowned her out. Finally, I intervened: “Let her speak! She’s been trying to share her perspective for ten minutes!” In that moment, I allowed my feelings to take over, and I spoke with passion.
This encouraged Sarah to finally voice her opinions openly. Together, we let go of the need for composure, and the class began to listen. Our emotions, rather than being viewed as a liability, were acknowledged and respected. Sometimes, a little chaos is necessary for clarity.
So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict—whether at work or elsewhere, and you think you’re being “too sensitive,” remember this: you are simply being human. Don’t hold back your emotions. Let them out, even if it creates a bit of a mess. You can always tidy up afterward.
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In summary, it’s crucial to acknowledge and express our emotions rather than suppress them. By doing so, we not only honor our feelings but also create a more genuine and engaged environment, whether in personal or professional settings.