As the mother of a child with dyslexia, I often find myself navigating a minefield of insensitive comments from individuals who don’t truly understand the challenges we face.
My son is intelligent and dedicated, yet he grapples with learning disabilities that make school a daunting experience. Even in subjects where he grasps the concepts, like math, he occasionally brings home disappointing grades because he misinterprets written instructions or reverses digits. Fortunately, thanks to the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), he benefits from an individual education plan (IEP) along with various tools and accommodations that help him tackle his challenges.
However, it’s the offhand remarks that are most difficult to handle. I often encounter these comments during school pick-up lines or birthday parties, frequently made by other parents who seem oblivious to the impact of their words.
“I can’t believe my second grader reads better than his fifth-grade buddy!” someone might exclaim. My response is a nonchalant, “Oh, really?” but inside, I’m thinking, “What if that fifth grader is my son, who is struggling at his own level?”
Then there’s the parent who shares, “My daughter isn’t even in the top spelling group. I’m meeting with her teacher to address this.” I maintain a neutral expression, but the underlying thought is, “Should I feel sorry for you? Is that the reaction you’re seeking?”
Meanwhile, my son was recently moved to the lowest spelling group, and we celebrated this achievement because it marked his progress beyond his individual, remedial word list. While he dedicates hours each week to preparing for spelling tests, he is acutely aware that many of his classmates do not study at all.
“Wow, my daughter reads at a 9th-grade level. It’s so hard to find suitable books for her,” another parent might remark, completely unaware of the toll such comments take.
While I may come off as overly sensitive, it’s crucial to remember that approximately 15-20% of individuals have a language-based learning disability, as noted by the International Dyslexia Association. When you casually make remarks about your child’s academic success, you might unintentionally inflict emotional harm on those who are already struggling. School can be a battleground for many children, and there’s no need to remind parents like me that their kids are facing significant challenges.
So let’s put down those thoughtless remarks. We’re navigating our own difficulties, and a little understanding can go a long way. For more insight into parenting topics, check out our other blog posts, including this one on home insemination. Additionally, for more guidance, visit Progyny’s blog which offers excellent resources on pregnancy and family planning. If you’re interested in tools for self insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom.
Summary
Navigating parenting with a child who has dyslexia can be challenging, especially when faced with thoughtless comments from others. Many parents are unaware of the emotional toll these remarks can have, particularly on families struggling with learning disabilities. It’s essential to foster understanding and compassion, as many children face obstacles in their educational journeys.