It’s late, the clock strikes 11 PM, and after countless interruptions, my children have finally settled down for the night. My body craves some much-needed rest, yet my mind is racing with anxiety, swirling thoughts of unfinished tasks and all the ways I feel inadequate. I strive to be a loving mother, a supportive partner, and to find success at work. But managing it all can be incredibly daunting.
As much as I long to be a fantastic friend—or at the very least, a decent one—I find myself falling short these days. I’m not making excuses, but if I can carve out time for that latest binge-worthy series, I should be able to respond to your messages. Here’s just a glimpse into the chaos that often derails my intentions:
- I meant to call or text back, but it was 6 AM—when most people are still asleep.
- My phone seems to vanish into thin air.
- Our cat decided to make a mess on the floor.
- A little one had an accident, too.
- I often reply in my head but forget to do so in reality.
- I simply forgot to reply at all.
- My child commandeered my phone because I desperately needed a moment of silence.
- I promised myself I’d reach out when I had a spare minute, but that moment never materialized.
- Someone flooded the bathroom again.
- By the time I remembered, I was already drifting off to sleep.
- My anxiety sometimes paralyzes me, making it hard to initiate a conversation even when I want to.
Life is overwhelming, and these are just a few examples of how everyday chaos gets in the way. It’s not that I don’t care about my friends; it’s just that I’m submerged in responsibilities.
When something serious arises, I will always be there for you in an instant. However, keeping up with the routine check-ins has become a challenge. In our 20s, friendships felt different; we had time, money, and no need for babysitters. We could enjoy late nights and sleep in without a care in the world.
Now that we’re in our 30s, our catch-ups often happen through sporadic texts and plans that usually end up being postponed. When we do get together, we cherish the moment, but we’re also ready to call it a night by 10 PM, exhausted from balancing everything life throws our way.
Many of us struggle to remember the last time we enjoyed a full night’s sleep. We’re all seeking a balance between our families, careers, and personal well-being. When I finally get a moment to myself, I often prefer solitude—listening to music or simply unwinding without conversation. It feels like pure bliss.
As mothers, we continuously pour ourselves into our families, prioritizing our children’s needs before our own. Most of the time, they are our primary focus. The tiny sliver of time left for ourselves often gets filled with self-care that looks like indulging in Netflix or snacking on leftovers when the kids are asleep. We must carve out time for ourselves to recharge.
I still deeply value my friendships; it’s just that my priorities have shifted while I navigate the challenges of raising young children and maintaining my marriage. This phase is temporary, and before long, our kids will be more independent, allowing us more time for our friends. So please don’t forget about me or think that I’ve forgotten about you. Once the chaos subsides and I can finally catch my breath, I’ll be eager for more coffee dates with my closest friends.
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In summary, I recognize that I haven’t been the friend I aspire to be lately. Life’s demands can feel overwhelming, but I want you to know that my affection for my friends remains steadfast. With time, I hope to rekindle those connections once I find my footing amidst the chaos.