As the winter drags on, I find myself overwhelmed, ready to burst. The cold seems endless, and we haven’t even faced the inevitable April snowstorm yet. Minnesota, please, not this year. The heaviness of depression, seasonal affective disorder, anxiety, and various mental health struggles all converge during this time.
When the balance of motherhood, marriage, and my mental well-being is at stake, my thoughts tend to spiral. I’ve learned to intentionally manage them, redirecting my focus from negativity to positivity, a necessity for my survival.
I must point out that my partner, Jake, has been a vital support in my journey towards sobriety and mental health. However, I often wonder about the inner workings of his mind. It’s baffling how he can sit in silence, lost in thought for what feels like an eternity. Whether he’s in the bathroom, standing still in the kitchen, or just sitting in the car, I can’t help but ponder: what could possibly be so captivating that it demands such undivided attention?
When I asked him what he was thinking about one day during a quiet drive, he replied, “Pots.” Yes, camping pots. For ten minutes, he was mentally occupied with pots! Meanwhile, my mind was racing with a whirlwind of thoughts: the state of the world, my medication schedule, the grocery list—I even worried about how lunching my kids on Pop Tarts made me a bad mom. The contrast was stark; my head was a chaotic circus while he was blissfully fixated on cookware.
That day, we shared a laugh that resonated deeply. In that moment, I felt liberated, as if humor had created a safety net for my chaotic thoughts. These are the moments that sustain me amidst the absurdity of life. They allow me to clear out the negativity swirling in my mind and replace it with laughter and fond memories of our adventures, especially while camping.
To manage my thoughts, I’ve started envisioning them as a film reel that I can overwrite. I catch myself when negative thoughts arise, rewind, and then record something new—something uplifting. Recently, I found myself in bed battling dark thoughts, so I decided to ponder absurd topics instead. Here’s my list of nonsensical things that amuse me and serve as distractions:
- Toe rings: who wears them?
- The Kardashians: seriously, just go away.
- Chopsticks: an unnecessary challenge.
- Musicals: why all the singing?
- Spray tans: no thanks.
- Columbus Day: really?
- Decaf coffee: an abomination.
I even asked dozens of women to share their own bewildering thoughts, and I was met with a treasure trove of responses that ranged from “judgmental people” to “fat-free cheese” and “people who pronounce Aunt as ‘Ant’.”
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In summary, our thoughts are a choice. By consciously directing them, we can transform our mental landscape. Life’s absurdities can provide a welcome distraction, emphasizing that we don’t have to dwell on negativity. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the silly things, and remember: mental clarity is within reach.