As a parent, my husband and I have developed a few go-to responses for one of the most frequent and tiresome complaints from our children: the all-too-familiar “I’m bored!” When we first hear this lament, our immediate reply is a casual, “Great! Embrace the boredom.” As it continues—whether it’s the second, tenth, or twentieth time—we might add, “Boredom reflects impatience and a lack of creativity, neither of which I can fix for you.” In short, I don’t lose sleep over their boredom. However, this wasn’t always my mindset.
In the early days of motherhood, I felt compelled to fill every moment with engaging activities. I thought that leaving them to their own devices would lead to mischief, so I busied them with constant stimulation. I assumed that children staring blankly at walls or daydreaming was the worst thing imaginable, and I took it upon myself to eliminate any downtime.
Then I had more kids, and the reality of my situation set in. With laundry piling up and meals to prepare, I quickly became indifferent to their complaints about boredom. Their cries for entertainment began to fade into the background noise of my life. Surprisingly, this unintentional neglect aligned with advice from child development experts and psychologists.
What’s Their Recommendation?
To let, and even encourage, your children to be thoroughly and unapologetically bored. Research supporting this idea keeps growing, especially in today’s world filled with screens and overscheduled lives, which contribute to a surge in anxiety and stress among kids and teens.
Our well-meaning attempts to keep them constantly occupied may actually hinder their development. School days, intended to nurture young minds, often lack adequate breaks or periods for free play, leaving kids exhausted and overwhelmed. After school, they’re usually inundated with extracurricular activities, followed by heaps of homework—this overload makes it hard for them to know how to fill their downtime.
Their “I’m bored” outbursts are symptomatic of a struggle to access their creativity, often referred to as the brain’s “free-form attention network.” This part of the brain is vital for daydreaming, memory recall, and imaginative thought. Psychologist Mia Carter illustrates this concept by comparing it to a computer that slows down when too many programs are running. Just as a computer needs to reboot to function effectively, children require periods of boredom to recharge and enhance their cognitive abilities.
How to Handle Boredom Complaints
In our home, when the boredom complaints arise, you won’t find any suggestions or guidance from me. Instead, expect a bemused eye-roll and a standard response. If you’re ready to prioritize your kids’ mental health and development by allowing them to experience boredom, the key is consistency. Work alongside your partner to set expectations about how to handle complaints of boredom without giving in. In time, you’ll find your children can entertain themselves—and that’s a win for everyone involved.
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In Summary
Allowing children to experience boredom is crucial for their development. It fosters creativity and helps them learn to entertain themselves without constant adult intervention. By embracing their boredom, parents can contribute positively to their children’s mental health and overall well-being.