Recently, I found myself navigating the grocery store with my three kids, ages 10, 8, and 3. My youngest was seated in the cart while the older two clung to its sides, all exhibiting less-than-pleasant attitudes. It’s a familiar struggle; managing three kids under ten at the store often feels like a relentless cycle of saying “no” and threatening to deny them a treat from the bakery, all while fantasizing about a simpler life in the wilderness.
During one of those chaotic moments, as I was scrolling through my shopping list to determine which flavor of goldfish crackers to choose (seriously, there are too many options), an older woman approached me. Tapping my sleeve, she said, “Great job, Dad.” I returned her smile, responding with a weary “thanks,” a common reaction among parents out shopping solo. Later that day, I received similar compliments at both Costco and the bank.
While it’s not typical for me to receive multiple compliments in a single outing, it’s not unusual either. Strangers often feel compelled to commend me when I’m out with my kids. When I shared this with my partner, Lily, she looked puzzled. “Why don’t I ever get compliments?” she asked, her voice laced with sincerity.
Lily works part-time at our children’s school and spends the rest of her time managing our energetic trio. It made me wonder: why is there a disparity in recognition between mothers and fathers?
I can’t provide any definitive answers, as my thoughts are rooted in personal experience rather than sociological research. It seems that when people witness a father engaging with his children, they feel inclined to offer encouragement. Most fathers I know, including myself, are hands-on and share household responsibilities equally, whether it’s doing laundry or managing finances. In our home, I usually tackle the laundry while Lily handles the budgeting—each of us playing to our strengths.
If a father is at the store with his children, he is likely invested in his role as a parent. He is not babysitting; he is fulfilling his duties as an active father. However, this shouldn’t warrant extra praise, as mothers are doing the same work daily without the same recognition.
While I appreciate compliments—parenting can often feel thankless—it’s essential to acknowledge that both mothers and fathers are simply doing what’s expected of them. What I advocate for is a more balanced approach to praise; both parents need support and encouragement.
So, the next time you see a frazzled mother juggling a cart full of kids, offer her a compliment too. In doing so, we can create a more equitable environment for all parents.
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In summary, while it’s nice to be recognized for our efforts as fathers, it’s crucial to ensure that mothers receive the same acknowledgment for their hard work. Let’s strive for a balanced appreciation of all parents.