A few weeks back, my son shared that he had reached the finals in his school’s Geography Bee. He expressed his anxiety, saying, “I’m not going to win, so I just feel like not doing it.” I completely understand where he’s coming from; even at my age, I experience similar feelings of doubt. How can I instill the confidence in him to give his all, regardless of the outcome? It’s definitely a challenging task, but I want my children to enjoy their experiences without the weight of excessive pressure.
I encouraged my son to focus on me during the event, reminding him that I would be proud of him, no matter what happened. He took my advice to heart. Though he was visibly anxious, he managed to participate, and while victory eluded him, I hope he found some enjoyment along the way. He recognizes that he’s an average kid, but I never want him to associate that with a lack of capability or the fear of failure. I will always ensure he knows I’m not disappointed in him for not being the best.
In truth, I have three average kids; they occasionally make the honor roll, but it requires effort on their part. Academic success doesn’t come easily for them, and while high honors might be in their future, it’s uncertain. They engage in sports and clubs, sometimes shining in games, but often not standing out. I’m perfectly fine with having average children, and more importantly, so are they.
Of course, there are moments when I wish for more for them, hoping they excel in something to boost their confidence. I sometimes feel frustrated when I sense they aren’t putting in their full effort. This frustration often stems from my own experiences in school, where I lacked motivation and never pursued sports seriously.
A few years ago, I witnessed a fellow parent coaching his son’s basketball team. His child was the star player, but after the game, I overheard the father criticizing him for his mistakes. The moment left me unsettled. I wondered whether that boy loved basketball or simply played out of fear of disappointing his dad. That’s an unbearable burden for any child to carry.
Children should never be ridiculed for being average; they deserve acceptance. We can inspire them to strive for their best, but we must not pressure them into unrealistic expectations, as it can lead to lasting harm. Remember, you didn’t have kids to fulfill your own ambitions. They are individuals, not extensions of yourself.
I will never be the parent who yells at my son for missing a question during the Geography Bee. I take pride in the fact that he had the courage to participate and do his best. Yes, I’m proud of my three beautiful, very average kids. My love for them remains unchanged, regardless of their grades or athletic achievements.
What matters most to me is their happiness, kindness, and effort. They know this because I express it to them regularly. Being average doesn’t diminish their worth; in fact, average kids can be fantastic individuals too.
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