When I was in nursing school, I took a child psychology course that dedicated a segment to the phenomenon of children and their imaginary friends. I can still recall the chill that ran down my spine as the instructor explained how some kids engage in full conversations and elaborate play with these unseen companions. My immediate thought was: this can’t be typical. Haven’t any of you seen The Shining, Amityville Horror, or Poltergeist? Did the 80s just pass you by? Enough of this psycho-babble; we need an exorcism!
The other day, my sweet, blue-eyed, energetic daughter, who is almost five, whispered to me — a secretive tone and a cupped hand — “I have two friends… in my room.”
I had to suppress the urge to flee like my life depended on it. Surely, we need an exorcist.
I once heard Stephen King share that his ideas for horror stories come from having “the brain of an 8-year-old… in a jar on my desk.” While I can’t verify the truth of that claim, his deadpan delivery was eerily similar to how my daughter just informed me about her friends.
Me: “So, are they here now?”
Bea: “Yes.”
Me: “Can I see them?”
Bea: “NO!”
Me: “Why not?”
Bea: “They don’t want you to know they’re here yet.”
As my heart raced, I pressed further, only to learn that these friends are friendly and don’t ask her to do anything sinister (like, you know, harm her parents). One resembles a balloon, and the other looks like a rainbow. I initially thought she meant one had a balloon, which sent me into a mini-panic. They only visit her at night, when her fan is on.
A quick search on the internet, coupled with a quick read from Freud’s teachings, reassured me that this behavior is typical and even a sign of a creative mind. The American Psychological Association (APA) suggests nurturing an open dialogue about her imaginary companions without giving in to my own fears. Armed with this knowledge, I managed to get through the week without contacting any religious authorities.
Fast forward to yesterday morning, when I was jolted awake by my daughter’s face just an inch from mine. “They want to meet you now,” she whispered, leaving me startled, half-asleep, and on edge.
Me: “What?! Who?”
Bea: “My friends!”
Me: “Now?! Right now?”
Bea: “Yup.”
As we made our way down the hall, I realized I needed to gather some intel. We paused outside her room.
Me: “Are they in there now?”
Bea: “They should be.”
Me: “Are they in a good mood?”
Bea: “I think so.”
Me: “You think so? What does that mean?”
Bea: “I dunno.”
This was going nowhere. I had to go in. And I hadn’t even brought a pin to deflate that imaginary balloon if things went south.
Me: “Alright, let’s do this.”
We stepped inside the dark room. I squinted, trying to spot any lurking figures but saw nothing. As I flipped on the light, I was met with a loud, “NO!!!!!”
Me: “What?!”
Bea: “The lights have to be off or they won’t come.”
Me: “Of course.”
Bea: “And the door has to be shut too.”
Me: “Great.”
Bea: “Now sit on the floor… there.”
I felt like a hostage following instructions, but she’s my daughter, so I complied.
After a mere 6.2 seconds, Bea announced, “They’re gone.”
Me: “What?! Did I do something wrong?”
Bea: “No, they just had to leave.”
So there you have it — I got stood up by an imaginary balloon and rainbow at 6:15 on a Saturday morning. What has my life come to?
The good news is that the APA states these imaginary friends usually fade away after three years, only to be replaced by new ones. Just as I start to feel comfortable with these two whimsical characters, I’ll have to prepare for a whole new set of imaginary pals. For more insights into kids and their imaginary friends, check out this article.
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In summary, children’s imaginary friends are a natural part of their development, often reflecting creativity and imagination. While the idea may initially cause concern for some parents, understanding and discussing these characters can promote a healthy emotional environment for children.