One evening, when your older brother was just a tiny baby, I found myself pushing the stroller during a walk. Your father offered to take over, but I hesitated, fearing I wouldn’t be able to keep my balance if I let go. After numerous tests and doctor visits, I received the diagnosis: I have multiple sclerosis, and I was in the midst of a lengthy flare-up.
As we sat in the doctor’s office absorbing the news and discussing the next steps, all I could manage to say was, “This is serious.” It felt like the most significant challenge I had ever faced. My mind raced back to my mother’s friend who navigated life in a motorized wheelchair, with her husband lifting her into bed each night. That was my understanding of MS, and in an instant, the future I envisioned for us seemed unattainable.
The prospect of having you felt impossible. A neurologist even cautioned me, “Getting pregnant right now could severely impact your prognosis.” I understood; caring for myself was already a challenge, let alone another child. At that moment, I wished it had been a brain tumor—something definitive and quick.
However, after extensive research, I’ve come to redefine what living with MS means, and I can confidently say it’s not as dire as a brain tumor. A year and a half later, I’m arguably healthier than I’ve ever been. With the support of my new neurologist and OB, here we are, welcoming your little life into the world, filled with hope. As we embark on this journey together, I want you to know we’re ready to face whatever challenges may come our way. Our family will create a beautiful life together.
Embracing Uncertainty
First and foremost, we must embrace uncertainty. The progression of my MS is unpredictable; in a few years or even decades, I might lose my vision, struggle to walk, or forget your name or where we live. But then again, I might not. Regardless, I hope my experience with MS instills in you a sense of compassion and resilience that can only be learned through adversity.
The reality is, nobody knows what the future holds—not just for us, but for everyone. We are fortunate to have a heightened awareness of this truth. I’ve learned to focus on what we can control and to appreciate the certainties we do have. For instance, even at just two and a half, I’m confident that your older brother will guide you through life with a perfect mix of wisdom and enthusiasm. He truly is an old soul. Your father is a remarkable man—hilarious and ready for any challenge. Together, we make an incredible team, and you can always count on us to tackle uncertainty with determination, humility, and humor. We are committed to giving you the life you deserve.
Seizing the Moment
Additionally, we need to seize the moment while we can. I’ve never enjoyed running, but I trained for and completed a 5K while I still could. Other mothers may not think twice about standing for photos, but I’m aware that one day I might not be able to. I’m determined to live life to the fullest while I am able. This means arriving at the YMCA pool at 7:30 a.m. to swim because we can. It also means helping our elderly neighbor with their lawn because we should.
Finding a Cause and a Cure
Speaking of what we can do, we must find a cause and a cure for this disease. When I was diagnosed in 2016, there was little understanding of what triggered MS. It’s believed to stem from a mix of environmental factors, genetic predisposition, and potentially a virus. It can affect anyone. No one knows why I developed it, how severe it may become, or how to cure it. I fervently hope that research advances quickly so that you won’t have to face MS as well.
While hope is important, I’ve learned that “hope is not a strategy,” as my sister once said. We need to take proactive steps to combat this disease. We must raise funds for research, celebrate breakthroughs, and share our experiences with MS to boost awareness, advocacy, and funding. I’m doing my part, and I can’t wait to see how you and your brother become advocates in this fight. We’ll need another champion like you on our side.
A Message of Love
I am filled with hope that by the time you read this, MS will have had minimal impact on your life. If that’s not the case, please know how deeply loved you are and how inspired I am to be your mom. You and your brother motivate me to stay healthy. We are a resilient and positive family, and I will do everything possible to pass these qualities on to you. MS does not define me, and I am committed to ensuring it doesn’t define your life either. Together, we can face anything. I love you endlessly.
In Summary
In summary, I want you to understand that life is unpredictable, but we are equipped to handle whatever comes our way. Our family will embrace every moment and strive to make a positive impact in the world, especially in the fight against MS.