National Single Parent Day is observed on March 21st, and it has me reflecting on the journey of single parenthood. If I could, I would give each of you a warm embrace, a delightful box of chocolates, and a full day to yourself to indulge in whatever makes you happy. However, since that’s a bit unrealistic, I want to share some heartfelt thoughts with you:
As a fellow single parent, I see you. I understand the overwhelming moments when you question how you’ve come this far or how you will continue. But you know deep down that you will push through because that’s just part of your incredible resilience. You look at your children, and there’s no doubt that you will give it your all every single day.
I recognize the times when your heart feels heavy, and you doubt if you’ll ever experience love again. You may think about focusing solely on your kids, your work, and yourself, shutting out the possibility of new relationships, wondering if it’s even worth it.
The guilt can be suffocating; you might feel selfish for even considering welcoming someone new into your life. After all, your priority is your family, and you’re navigating this journey solo. There are days when you wish for an extra pair of hands to help with after-school chaos, bedtime routines, and those long nights with sick kids.
Keeping track of everything can feel nearly impossible, and I know you worry that others might think you’re falling short when, in reality, you’re working tirelessly just to stay afloat. I understand.
The pain of being away from your children for days is heart-wrenching, and the holidays can be particularly tough. Sometimes, you wish for a return to what was familiar, even if it meant revisiting a relationship that wasn’t right. But you resist, knowing your self-worth is far too valuable. And that’s a powerful realization.
There are moments of joy, even days, where you catch yourself observing your kids and recognizing that you’re doing a commendable job. Occasionally, guilt creeps in, making you think, “If only I had stayed,” or “Maybe I didn’t try hard enough.” But then, there are instances when your new normal feels entirely satisfying, immune to negativity from an ex, or a tight pair of jeans. You feel empowered.
You can switch from feeling liberated and ecstatic to feeling like a total failure in mere minutes. You miss having an adult to share meals with, yet there are days you’re grateful for the freedom to make choices without consulting anyone else. Sometimes, you relish the simple joys, like lounging in bed with a bag of chips or enjoying cereal for dinner while unwinding in front of the TV.
When you see families walking together, it can tug at your heartstrings. Couples holding hands may evoke thoughts of longing, and while you don’t want to give in to cynicism, it’s hard not to feel that way at times.
You experience emotions on a deeper level now. Some days, you welcome this sensitivity, while others, it can feel burdensome. You might wish for the emotional resilience you had before, when there was a partner to lean on. But now, everything is different; you are different.
You have grown stronger yet more fragile, happier yet sadder. You embody the balance of conflicting feelings because you have to be. More importantly, you are all these things because you are incredibly resilient, adept at navigating life, and courageous enough to embrace this journey of single parenthood.
This path can be exhausting, sometimes making you want to retreat, while at other times, you crave the connection with others. Balance may have been thrown out the window along with your marriage vows, leading to a struggle between wanting to stay busy and isolating yourself while indulging in treats.
But remember, you are not alone. Look at what you’ve achieved for yourself and your family. Take a moment to appreciate how you are reinventing yourself, all while trudging through the chaos. You are remarkable, and I see you. So, take today, tomorrow, or even sometime next week to celebrate yourself. Don’t forget to repeat this often. You deserve it.
And yes, while being a happy parent is the best gift for your children, learning to care for yourself is equally vital. Just because you’re alone in this journey doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs.
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Summary
Single parenting is a challenging yet rewarding journey filled with ups and downs. It’s essential to recognize your accomplishments and prioritize self-care. Despite feelings of loneliness or guilt, remember that your resilience and strength make you an incredible parent. Celebrate yourself and seek support when needed.