When I think about my aspirations as a parent, I envision a balanced approach, much like Goldilocks. I don’t identify with the overly strict “Tiger Mom” or the constantly hovering “Helicopter Mom.” While I maintain a fairly relaxed style, I wouldn’t categorize myself as a “Free-Range Parent” either. I aim for a middle ground—or at least I try.
However, the truth is that I sometimes slip into the role of a pushover parent. I allow my children to jump on the furniture and toss balls around indoors. I don’t strictly prohibit mild swearing, as long as it’s not hurtful, and I’m not overly rigid about screen time limits. With my love for sweets, our pantry is stocked with treats. Our home is a fun haven—until it isn’t.
Before long, my once sweet kids can transform into little terrors, complaining about not having dessert after dinner and insisting that five hours of gaming isn’t sufficient. Their behavior shifts, becoming snappy and unpleasant. My partner and I exchange glances filled with disbelief, wondering when our lovely children turned into these unruly creatures. That’s when I realize I’ve let things spiral out of control.
Regular bedtimes become a thing of the past, giving way to flexible schedules that eventually lead to no bedtimes at all. What started as an occasional treat turns into an all-you-can-eat candy buffet. My previously relaxed stance on swearing and screen time morphs into a scenario where my kids behave like mindless zombies glued to screens.
It’s important to note that my pushover parenting isn’t due to laziness. I may be juggling work commitments, and suddenly hours have vanished while the kids are absorbed in TV. My partner and I often have the best intentions for family outings—dinners, movies, spontaneous trips to Chuck E. Cheese—but life gets in the way. Sometimes, I find myself indulging in sweets and struggle to enforce rules about them.
Regardless of the reasons behind my pushover tendencies—whether it’s well-meaning intentions or daily life distractions—the outcomes are rarely positive. My children quickly shift from being playful but kind-hearted to whining, screaming, and acting spoiled.
I don’t want to be the villain, but I am ready to embrace the role of “Mean Mom” when necessary. The challenge is that this side of me usually appears only after the pushover parent has lost all control, leading to late-night binges on junk food while watching movies. Just kidding—sort of.
Reestablishing boundaries as a pushover parent is never a pleasant experience for anyone involved. It requires a period of adjustment as we transition back to a healthier routine. Bedtimes are reinstated, gaming sessions are curtailed, and junk food is tucked away. Gradually, my kids return to being well-rested and better behaved. I become more comfortable stepping into the “mean mom” role when needed, and eventually, we settle into a healthier, though slightly less fun, routine.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t worry. Being a pushover parent isn’t synonymous with being a bad or lazy parent; it simply reflects a loving and adaptable approach that occasionally allows for too much flexibility. You’re not ruining your children or enabling entitlement; it’s possible to regain control (even if it leads to some whining and withdrawal from sugar). You will find your parenting rhythm once again, and balance will be restored.
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Summary
Balancing parenting styles can be challenging, especially when you find yourself slipping into the role of a pushover parent. While it may seem fun at first, the consequences can lead to unruly behavior from your children. Recognizing the need for boundaries and reestablishing a routine can help restore balance and create a healthier environment for everyone involved.