In the age of social media, we’ve seen many positive trends emerge—movements that promote kindness, generosity, and social justice. However, there’s one disturbing trend that has gained traction online: public humiliation as punishment for children. This practice, often justified by parents as a form of discipline, can cause significant harm to children and families alike.
Consider the scenario: a child misbehaves, perhaps by skipping school or talking back, and as a consequence, they are made to stand on a street corner holding a sign detailing their misdeed. For those who miss the spectacle in person, parents often share these moments online, broadcasting their child’s shame to the world. Or perhaps a teen comes home late or is caught drinking, leading parents to force her to cut her hair significantly—again, often documented and shared widely.
Parenting is undoubtedly challenging. Many lament that today’s youth lack the discipline that previous generations experienced. As a former high school teacher and a parent, I understand the frustrations that come with raising teenagers who sometimes seem indifferent or disrespectful. However, it’s crucial to remember that most teenagers are fundamentally good individuals navigating a world that can be harsh and unwelcoming. They, like us, are prone to mistakes.
When our children err, our initial reactions may include disappointment or embarrassment. It’s easy to feel that their actions reflect our parenting; however, it’s important to recognize that making mistakes is part of being human. We all deserve compassion, including our children.
Discipline is necessary, indeed. Taking away privileges, grounding them, or even assigning chores can be effective methods of correction. Yet, nothing justifies the public shaming of a child. This trend raises questions about what parents hope to achieve. It certainly doesn’t foster a trusting relationship nor does it model love and support—qualities our children need as they grow into adulthood.
Psychologist Dr. Ellen Thompson emphasizes that each instance of public humiliation takes a toll, driving a wedge between parents and children. She notes, “When we disconnect from a child, we lose our influence over them.” Public shaming teaches children to feel shame about themselves as individuals rather than helping them learn from their mistakes. This fear-based approach only deepens the divide between parent and child.
Public humiliation is ineffective as a disciplinary strategy. It often becomes more about parental validation—seeking approval through likes and shares on social platforms—than about teaching valuable lessons. Moreover, the digital footprint created by such actions can have far-reaching consequences, impacting college admissions or job prospects down the line. Why risk your child’s future for a fleeting moment of perceived control?
As noted in Psychology Today, engaging children in discussions about their behavior, rather than intimidating them, creates opportunities for connection and understanding. My experience as an educator has shown me that private conversations often yield better results than public reprimands, as children are deeply concerned about their peers’ perceptions.
Our children should see us as their primary supporters, their first line of defense. By making them the subject of public humiliation, we undermine that trust and tell them that they cannot rely on us during difficult times.
Every child requires structure, rules, and discipline. They may feel the weight of their world crumbling when faced with losing a privilege, but they will ultimately learn that life continues beyond these moments. Importantly, they must know that their errors will be forgiven and that they are still respected, fostering a reciprocal relationship of respect.
In conclusion, public humiliation is not a necessary form of discipline. Opt for methods that reinforce love, understanding, and forgiveness. After all, our goal is to raise resilient, respectful individuals who will eventually thrive independently.
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