Last December, I found myself navigating the holiday season, struggling to keep my head above water. It had been nearly a year since my former partner moved out, and over a year since we made the decision to separate. I felt as though I was trapped in a cycle of memories that kept pulling me back, despite my desire to move forward.
One evening, while watching the Christmas lights twinkle in the city from our living room, I made an impulsive decision: I booked a getaway for myself and my children. This was something I had hesitated to do, fearing it would serve as a painful reminder of how our family used to be.
For a long time, the thought of traveling alone with my kids without my ex-husband filled me with dread. I was apprehensive about how we would manage and worried it would highlight the absence of the family trips we once enjoyed together. Alone, I would be responsible for every detail — from packing to navigation, to keeping the peace in the back seat if tempers flared.
Yet, something shifted within me that night. I pushed aside my fears and began searching for destinations. The anxiety that had held me captive for so long now fueled my determination. In just a few minutes, I secured a weekend at a resort, telling the kids we were off to an indoor water park where fun awaited us.
The doubt lingered, but I recognized the necessity of creating new traditions. If I could handle Christmas, I could certainly manage this, right?
Some may view a solo trip with children post-divorce as trivial, but for me, it felt monumental. I feared I couldn’t match the joy their father once brought to our adventures. The pressure was daunting, but I chose to release those negative thoughts. This trip was about embracing who we were now, just the three of us, and that was more than enough.
Our weekend together was filled with meaning, even if it wasn’t action-packed every moment. One evening, we chose to stay in and order room service, and it struck me that I hadn’t once compared this experience to our previous family trips. I was fully present, savoring the joy of the moment without worrying if I measured up.
As I glanced at my children, content and happy, I felt an overwhelming sense of wholeness. Nostalgia for the past crept in, but it didn’t hurt; instead, it served as a reminder of how far we had come. I realized I didn’t need to dwell on what could have been if their father was there.
As I settled into bed, my eldest son surprised me with his words: “Mom, I’m really surprised at how much fun I had this weekend.” In that moment, I understood we would be okay.
In summary, embarking on a getaway with your children after a divorce can be an empowering experience. It allows you to create new traditions and bond in ways you may have never imagined. Embracing the present and letting go of past comparisons can lead to meaningful moments that foster resilience and togetherness.
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