A notification from the pharmacy informing me my prescription is ready. A text from my child’s school reminding me about an upcoming fundraiser at a local restaurant. An email alerting me that my youngest child’s lunch account has dipped to a mere $1.20. A reminder for the next orthodontist appointment. A quick text from my partner asking me what size shoes our middle child will wear this summer (because I have some sort of magical insight into my kids’ growth spurts, evidently). And that was just today.
The burden of mental organization is very real, and moms typically bear the brunt of it. Our smartphones certainly don’t help; they often amplify the chaos while simultaneously aiding us in keeping track of all the responsibilities we must juggle. Leah Ruppanner, an Australian author, aptly describes the mental load as “the planning work required to ensure the children make it to their activities, that the fridge is stocked for dinner, and that the smoke detector batteries are replaced.” It’s relentless, draining, and unfairly falls on women.
Oh, and let’s not forget the incessant beep of the smoke detector needing a battery change. It’s an impressive feat to locate where that sound is emanating from—spoiler alert: it’s the basement. I know I need either a 9-volt or two AA batteries, but I still forget. We’re probably out of both, adding yet another item to my ever-growing to-do list, which is so extensive that it could rival a CVS receipt.
Since it’s a crucial task, I’m sure I’ll misplace my shopping list before I even step foot in the store. The boarding pass from our last trip is likely buried somewhere in my purse, which will only frustrate me as I search for the list that was meant to remind me to buy batteries. Meanwhile, receipts for trivial items like gum and water will mock me.
And let’s not overlook today’s onslaught of email notifications about my seventh grader’s new grades. This piece is not solely about online grade tracking, but I certainly have my opinions on that subject. Add to that the barrage of emails from the schools concerning safety protocols, scheduling parent-teacher conferences, reminders about the spring dance, and details about Little League openings. Sometimes, I feel like my head might literally explode.
As if that wasn’t enough, I also received three group texts detailing game schedules for my boys’ upcoming basketball tournament and two more about baseball practice, reminding me that all catchers must wear appropriate gear. Don’t forget to book hotels for the April baseball trip to New York and the Memorial Day tournament in New Jersey!
Today, however, was a small victory in the group text realm—unlike most days, my phone didn’t explode with back-and-forth responses full of questions, comments, and superfluous emojis that would otherwise lead to a cacophony of notifications. It’s a small mercy, though I can’t help but think about how I might need to add “YouTube how to fix wall” to my already overflowing mental checklist. Just kidding! I’ll probably just cover the damage with a picture like I usually do.
I know, I should probably turn off notifications. But there are two hurdles here: I’m not exactly sure how to do that, and more importantly, I tend to forget a lot—too much, in fact. I rely heavily on reminders to keep everything in order. Forgetting to schedule my own dentist appointment is one thing, but missing a dental check-up for my kids, or having them miss a practice or show up to a birthday party on the wrong date? That’s a whole different ballgame. Yes, it happened once. At a trampoline park.
So, to all the moms bracing themselves for another day filled with reminders and alerts, I recommend taking a few deep breaths and maybe indulging in some peanut M&Ms.
And while you’re at Target for those M&Ms, could you pick up some batteries for me? If you’re feeling particularly generous, I could also use a Fitbit, as mine has proven not to be as waterproof as I once thought, and I need to increase my step count after all those treats.
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In summary, managing the barrage of digital communications and responsibilities can feel overwhelming for mothers. From managing school notifications and email alerts to keeping track of family schedules, the mental load is significant. Embracing strategies to cope and seeking support can ease some of the burdens that come with motherhood.