I cherish a bumper sticker that perfectly encapsulates my life as a parent. I’m raising two vibrant, spirited, and occasionally unruly daughters. I take pride in their various achievements and milestones, and while they are generally well-behaved, they can also exhibit less-than-ideal behavior from time to time—at home, at school, and beyond.
In today’s social media world, it seems every child is portrayed as “perfect.” Instagram and Facebook are flooded with images of kids receiving academic awards, excelling in sports, snuggling with pets, or simply being model children. Admittedly, I too share these picture-perfect moments of my girls almost daily—after all, who wouldn’t want to showcase the cute side of family life?
However, the truth is that no child is flawless; not mine, not yours, not even that seemingly angelic neighbor down the street. It’s a tough pill for some parents to swallow, particularly when their little ones misbehave. There are endless reasons to rationalize those moments: lack of sleep, social challenges, or even what they ate that day.
Kids are not perfect because they are, well, human—tiny humans, to be exact. Even as adults, we can be less than ideal at times—yes, even I can admit to that (but let’s keep that between us!).
Do we, as adults, consistently make the right choices? Are we always on our best behavior? Stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and worry can easily disrupt our “perfect” facades. While our children may not follow the same routines we do, they face their own challenges that complicate their ability to be perfect all the time.
I remember when I first grappled with the idea of having “good” kids, particularly as they started school. I constantly worried about how others perceived their behavior, a phenomenon often referred to as parent shaming. Before school, as a stay-at-home mom, I had the ability to guide my daughters through their challenges. Once they entered the school system, I lost that immediate control over their behavior for several hours a day, hoping they would make wise choices: to stand up for friends, to be kind, or to simply do the right thing.
The reality? My daughters do their best to be kind and helpful. They support their friends, comfort classmates, and demonstrate compassion. But they are still little humans, and sometimes they make poor decisions. They might not always stand up to a bully or might snap at a peer. They can forget to clean up after themselves or get distracted in class. Sometimes they even witness unkindness and don’t know how to respond.
At ages six and nine, they’re still figuring out the complexities of social interactions. Dinner conversations often revolve around their experiences at school, particularly social conflicts—bullying, mean friends, and dominating personalities. As much as I wanted to guide them towards kindness, I realized these experiences are crucial for their growth. How can they learn to navigate real-life situations if they don’t face them head-on?
I used to become frustrated when they made poor choices. But then I had a revelation. At 41, I still make mistakes that make me cringe. So why should I expect my daughters to consistently make the “right” decisions? It’s unreasonable to think they should be perpetually cheerful. We all have our bad days, and it’s only natural they would too.
Our family mantra is to “choose kindness,” and I still uphold that principle. However, isn’t it true that even adults struggle to be kind in challenging situations? Haven’t we all had our moments of unkindness? I get why parents want to shield their children from making the same mistakes they did, but learning through both good and bad decisions is part of growing up.
I have two wonderful kids who strive to make good choices, but they are also imperfect little humans. We discuss their decisions, analyzing both the good and the not-so-good. What kind of parent would I be if I only celebrated their successes but turned a blind eye to their missteps? Allowing them to experience both the highs and lows of life helps them understand who they are. It’s essential for their emotional development.
My daughters are human—they do good and sometimes mess up, but each experience helps mold them into responsible, compassionate adults. I take equal pride in their achievements and their mistakes, for both will shape them into perfectly imperfect individuals. Yes, I’m a proud parent of two fierce little girls who, like all of us, can be a bit difficult at times—and that’s completely okay.
For more insights on parenting and navigating the complexities of family life, check out our related posts. You might also find helpful information on fertility and home insemination at resources like Medical News Today and Make a Mom.
Summary:
Children, like adults, are not perfect; they grapple with challenges and make mistakes. As parents, it’s essential to recognize that our kids are learning and growing through their experiences, both good and bad. Embracing their imperfections allows them to develop into well-rounded individuals.