It seems like every day, or even every few hours, we come across yet another viral social media post or article blaming parents for societal issues. We face judgment for allowing our kids to use smartphones at restaurants, and we’re criticized for being overly involved or too lenient. Whenever a tragedy strikes, the chorus of voices accusing us of being uninvolved parents and lamenting about “kids these days” becomes deafening, often accompanied by nostalgic musings about how parenting was done right in the past.
But let’s be honest—this is absurd.
As someone who grew up in the 80s, I can acknowledge that while there were certainly some great aspects to childhood back then, there were also many challenges. Boys were often pressured to “man up” and faced ridicule for expressing a desire to be stay-at-home dads, while girls were told that roles like astronaut or president were off-limits. Bullying was rampant, with adults dismissing it as a rite of passage. Teenagers engaged in risky behaviors much earlier than they do today.
Sure, there were notable strengths in the parenting styles of previous generations, but did they genuinely care more or take their responsibilities more seriously? Not necessarily. My generation was among the first to be dubbed “latchkey kids.”
In the wake of recent school shootings, the blame directed at today’s parents has intensified. Critics point fingers at us for allowing excessive video game play, not encouraging outdoor activities, or failing to discipline properly. We hear it all: not volunteering enough or not returning school letters.
Enough already.
Attributing societal problems to parents is not only unkind but also misguided. Today’s parents are acutely aware of our shortcomings. We juggle busy schedules, often working tirelessly to provide our children with opportunities like learning new languages, playing instruments, and participating in sports. We also face the daunting task of navigating social media challenges—such as cyberbullying and sexting—that past generations didn’t have to contend with. Yes, the culture of playdates exists, but many kids still venture outside, looking for friends to play with.
There are countless reasons a parent might appear disengaged to outsiders. A parent missing an evening concert may be working a night shift. The one who forgets to send in a form might be caring for an ailing relative while also writing little notes of love to their child. And yes, a parent who allows their child to use an iPad during dinner may have just spent an enriching day at a museum with them.
The truth is, we can’t know the full context of another family’s situation, so let’s hold back on the judgments.
The real issue at hand is ensuring that troubled individuals don’t have access to firearms. Blaming an entire generation of parents striving to raise kind and responsible children is unreasonable. Even the most devoted parents can have children who make poor choices. There are numerous systemic failures that contributed to the actions of individuals like Nicholas Cruz, and it’s essential to recognize that his mother actively sought help for him.
Moreover, even children raised in nurturing environments can falter; a child schooled in kindness may still engage in unkind behavior at times. They are just kids, after all.
Parents today are not perfect, nor do we claim to be. However, neither were the parents of past generations. We are all trying our best—just like those before us. Being a parent is undoubtedly one of the most crucial roles we can undertake.
While it’s easy to romanticize past decades, let’s refrain from blaming today’s parents for everything that goes wrong. If you’re interested in exploring more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on infertility.
In summary, let’s stop the cycle of blame and recognize that every generation of parents faces unique challenges. We’re all striving to do our best in raising our children.