In our modern digital world, social media can be a double-edged sword. While it allows us to connect within a supportive community, it often serves as a painful reminder of my son Ben’s loneliness, both online and offline. Sometimes, I think he chooses to be alone, as solitude can be simpler. However, I also recognize that many teens struggle with how to engage with those who are “different,” leading to missed opportunities for connection.
Ben has many classmates who genuinely care for him, yet they often don’t know how to move past a casual “Hey.” I believe educating them can foster understanding and acceptance, so they might feel empowered to reach out. If you’re a teenager looking to befriend my son or another teen with autism, here are 14 crucial points to keep in mind:
- Inquire. Always ask if he wants to hang out. Whether it’s catching a movie or grabbing pizza, asking opens the door to understanding his interests.
- Embrace. Accept him for who he is. His behaviors may not always align with your expectations, but they are meaningful to him. Ask questions if you’re curious.
- Include. Make an effort to think of him when planning activities. Even if he usually opts for solitude, knowing he was considered can make a significant difference.
- Learn. Educate yourself about autism and Ben’s unique preferences. Understanding why he may avoid certain foods or routines can help create a more supportive environment.
- Be Forgiving. Like anyone, Ben might say something blunt without realizing it could hurt. His honesty is a trait to appreciate, even when it stings.
- Persist. Don’t be discouraged if he declines your invitations consistently. Keep asking; he may surprise you one day.
- Respect Space. If he agrees to join you, he may need some time alone afterward. Recognizing his need for space is essential.
- Give Time. Building trust takes time, so be patient. If you invest your time, you’ll find that Ben is truly worth it.
- Remind. He may require gentle reminders about plans, practice, or where to meet. This isn’t a reflection of his value for your friendship; it’s just how he processes information.
- Share Interests. Ben enjoys memes and quotes from movies. Engaging him with these can be a fun way to connect. Just ask him about his favorites.
- Be Direct. Ben interprets language literally, so avoid slang or sarcasm. A straightforward approach will help him understand you better.
- Acknowledge Individuality. Remember that Ben is more than just his diagnosis. He is Ben, an individual with his own likes and dislikes.
- Show Respect. Even if you don’t fully understand him, respecting his quirks is vital. He will likely appreciate your efforts, even if he seems distant.
- Practice Kindness. A simple act of kindness goes a long way. The effort to be his friend, regardless of your missteps, is always commendable.
To wrap up, trying to befriend my son, even imperfectly, is never a wrong move. Each effort counts in building a bridge of friendship.
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Summary
Understanding and befriending a teenager with autism requires patience, kindness, and a willingness to learn. By asking questions, accepting differences, and including them in social situations, you can foster a meaningful friendship that enriches both your lives.