The Daily Question to Connect with Your Children

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While our family doesn’t always gather for dinner, we make it a point to do so on many evenings. During these meals, my partner and I ask our three children how their day went. The typical response is a lackluster “How was your day?” Our two older kids, aged 10 and 8, often respond with a shrug, while our youngest, just 3, stares blankly at us. They gaze at the dinner we’ve prepared as if it were an affront, instantly requesting Mac and Cheese instead.

This scenario is familiar to many parents. I maintain a strong relationship with my kids, yet I find it challenging to engage them during dinner. Sometimes, I question if I’m missing the mark in my approach.

Recently, I stumbled upon the inspiring story of siblings Sam and Tina Reynolds, who launched a successful clothing brand called “Everyday Joy.” Their story resonated with me, particularly a lesson from their childhood. After their parents faced a serious car accident during their formative years, their mother adopted a positive mindset. Instead of dwelling on misfortunes, she asked her children every night, “What was one good thing that happened today?”

According to the Reynolds, this simple question transformed their family’s dynamic. It fostered a culture of gratitude rather than victimhood. Instead of grumbling about school or chores, they shared laughs about amusing moments or achievements, thus nurturing resilience.

Reflecting on their experience, I can’t help but think how a similar approach could shift the interactions in my own home. Asking my children “What good thing happened today?” might encourage them to open up in a way that the standard question has not.

The Reynolds siblings credit this nightly inquiry as a foundational element for their future business. It instilled in them the idea that optimism is a choice, regardless of circumstances. This principle became central to their brand, which promotes the message that while life may be tough, it also holds countless moments of joy.

I acknowledge that some may scoff at the idea of maintaining a positive outlook, especially those grappling with mental health challenges. I empathize deeply, having faced my own struggles with anxiety and depression. Simply finding the motivation to rise each day can feel monumental, let alone adopting an optimistic perspective.

However, I believe that introducing this small change could be beneficial for my children. It might equip them with tools to navigate life’s challenges and offer them a framework for resilience if they ever face similar struggles.

Tonight, as my children sit around the dinner table and respond with indifference to my usual queries, I plan to ask them to share a positive moment from their day. I will share something uplifting from my own experience and gently encourage them to do the same. My hope is that this simple question will start to reshape their outlook on life, just as it did for Sam and Tina Reynolds.

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In summary, shifting from the mundane “How was your day?” to the more engaging “What good thing happened today?” could transform family conversations and foster a positive mindset in children.

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