Navigating the Social Shift of Becoming a Mom
Motherhood can be a challenging journey, wouldn’t you agree? If your little ones aren’t bickering, they are probably turning your living space into a Lego battlefield. And just when you think they’re playing nicely, they’ve likely found something off-limits to explore. The struggle is real, but what makes it even more difficult is when friends without children fail to understand this new reality, leading to the loss of friendships.
I had a close friend from high school, whom I valued throughout my college years, my wedding, and the early stages of my pregnancy. However, after a few months of silence from her end, I decided to reach out. Despite the distance between us, we communicated regularly via texts and social media, but something felt off. When I inquired about our lack of contact, I was blindsided by her response.
The Unpleasant Reality
“You’re obsessed with your pregnancy,” she told me. She claimed that the last time we spoke, my focus had solely been on my impending motherhood. After a deeply hurtful exchange, we lost touch, and I haven’t heard from her since.
What do you do when motherhood costs you friendships? Should we feel guilty for embracing such a monumental change in our lives? I attempted to explain that pregnancy naturally occupies your thoughts; it alters everything. After two years of marriage, my life was no longer just about my husband and me. We had to consider purchasing a larger vehicle to accommodate a baby seat, reevaluate our finances to ensure we were ready for parenthood, and of course, my body was undergoing significant changes. So, forgive me if this was at the forefront of my mind.
The Reality of Changing Friendships
Sadly, not everyone can cope with the news of your pregnancy. Whether it stems from their own struggles with infertility, jealousy of losing your undivided attention, or simply an inability to relate, reactions will vary. Many of my friends celebrated my news, but this one friend’s reaction made me reflect. I suspected she may have been grappling with her own fertility issues; they had been married longer than my husband and I, but she never disclosed anything. While I understood her hurt, it still stung.
Motherhood teaches us that friendships change, and we, too, undergo transformations. Sometimes, friends simply drift apart, and it can be a bitter pill to swallow. However, I’ve learned to find strength in addressing negativity surrounding such a joyous event.
Finding New Connections Through Motherhood
One of the silver linings of becoming a mom is discovering a supportive community of fellow mothers. Sharing experiences with others who are going through similar challenges can lighten even the toughest moments. The hilarious and messy realities of parenting become a source of laughter when exchanged among moms who can relate (and yes, sometimes those stories do involve poop!).
Countless times, I’ve found myself at the park, exasperated from calling my son’s name for the umpteenth time, only to exchange a knowing smile with another mom who gets it. Through my short experience as a mother, I’ve realized that what we often crave is a friend who understands. While every mom’s journey is unique, a little kindness can go a long way.
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Summary
Embracing motherhood can sometimes strain friendships, as not everyone can relate to the life changes that come with it. While losing friends is painful, it also opens doors to new connections with fellow moms who understand the journey. Finding a supportive community can help ease the challenges of parenting.