There’s no denying that in today’s parenting culture, one of the biggest fears among parents is navigating “the teenage years.” It’s easy to see why. With hormones surging, unpredictable mood swings, and worries about everything from relationships to social media, the teenage experience can seem daunting.
But have we forgotten what it was like to be a teenager ourselves? Do we recall the mornings spent waking up before dawn to apply concealer over blemishes or the pressure to wear the latest fashions to avoid ridicule? Have we lost sight of the heart-wrenching moments of first love or the emotional turmoil that can feel overwhelming?
While many parents look back fondly on the early years of parenting, there seems to be a collective groan when it comes to the teenage phase. It’s common to hear parents lamenting about their struggles with their adolescent children. I understand this sentiment; I have a teenage stepson and often find myself making the usual snarky comments about his teenage antics. I’ve also joked about how challenging it will be when my daughter reaches her teenage years. It’s a shared experience among many of us.
However, I urge us to reconsider how we perceive teenagers. Are they truly just hormonal beings doomed to despise us until they reach adulthood? Absolutely not. They are young individuals navigating a complex world filled with chaos and uncertainty. They witness the behavior of adults around them and the troubling reality portrayed in the news.
What if we shifted our focus from reminiscing about their younger days to embracing who they are now? By fostering compassion and understanding for the teenagers we know and care about, we may create a more open dialogue. If we stop viewing adolescence as a curse, we might encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings with us.
I could be mistaken, but I believe that perpetually framing our teenagers as impending ‘monsters’ sets a negative tone that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we expect them to act out, it almost justifies their rebellious behavior.
Rather than dreading puberty, perhaps we should celebrate it as a significant phase in their development. I have met numerous bright, empathetic, and intelligent teens who inspire hope for the future. We should take pride in these remarkable individuals who are growing up in challenging times.
Entering the teenage years is daunting enough without adults perpetuating fears about it. Not every parent engages in this behavior, but many do—including myself at times. I am making a conscious effort to change my perspective regarding the teenagers in my life. Whenever I encounter a teenager behaving in a way that warrants an eye roll, I remind myself of my own teenage years—how self-absorbed and insecure I felt, and the things I did that frustrated the adults around me. I also remember those who treated me with respect and dignity.
If we believe teenagers lack empathy, perhaps it’s time for us, as adults who have already navigated this phase, to model what empathy looks like. After all, beneath that teenage exterior lies the little child we once knew and loved. We’ve all been there.
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In summary, we need to reassess our views on teenagers and approach this time in their lives with empathy and understanding. They are not simply a phase to endure but individuals deserving of our support and respect.