Updated: November 15, 2023
Originally Published: February 12, 2018
I was excitedly anticipating the arrival of an Amazon package, hoping for something delightful—perhaps a quirky mug or a fun gadget. My husband and I often indulge in impulse buys for each other, so you never know what might pop up. However, when I opened the box, I was greeted not by a cute surprise, but by a Fitbit.
Now, if you aren’t familiar, a Fitbit is a wrist device that syncs with your phone to monitor various health metrics. It tracks everything from sleep patterns to step counts and even your heart rate. You can log your water intake and scan your meals for calorie tracking. Essentially, it’s a constant reminder of dieting and fitness, all wrapped around your wrist.
Meanwhile, I’ve been on my own journey toward body positivity, trying to embrace my shape and size, rejecting the unrealistic beauty standards that prevail in our society. After dealing with weight anxiety for years, including having an eating disorder and restrictive diets during my breastfeeding phase, I’ve decided to prioritize my well-being over societal expectations. I eat when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full, which is a tough habit to form after a lifetime of ignoring my body’s signals. My husband has been incredibly supportive of my journey, but his new fitness obsession is testing my resolve.
It only took three days before I brought it up. “So, I see you’re sporting a Fitbit?” I remarked.
“I want to track my sleep cycles,” he replied defensively.
And that’s when the conversation shifted. Soon, our talks revolved around his fitness milestones—“I hit my 10,000 steps before noon!” or “I walked five miles today.” Each time he mentioned his achievements, I felt a twinge of anxiety. I hadn’t even walked a mile, juggling housework and taking care of the kids.
He would brag about how well-hydrated he was, “I drank 64 ounces of water by lunchtime!” Meanwhile, I was guzzling coffee just to stay awake. Every fitness benchmark he reached felt like a competition, and I was losing. This Fitbit, which might as well have been a third wheel in our marriage, was becoming a source of frustration for me. It was undermining my progress and making me feel inadequate.
Ultimately, we reached an understanding: he would refrain from discussing his Fitbit escapades around me for the sake of my mental health. I wanted him to pursue his fitness goals, but I couldn’t ignore the triggers it brought up for me. I even contemplated buying one myself, fearing it would spiral me into unhealthy obsessions.
Now, we’ve drawn a line: I acknowledge the Fitbit exists only when discussing its primary function of sleep tracking. My husband has his brother for fitness talk, and I’m here to support him while focusing on my own path toward self-acceptance.
One day, I hope to engage with fitness discussions without feeling triggered. But today? Not a chance.
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In summary, balancing a partner’s fitness journey while embracing body positivity can be challenging. Open communication and setting boundaries are essential to maintain mental well-being while supporting each other’s goals.