The other day, I found myself on the phone with my partner, Jake, while working. My responses were mostly just a series of “uh-huhs” and “got it,” lacking the focus he deserved. When I hastily said, “Sounds good… I need to go,” he interrupted me, saying, “I’ll let you know when I’m done with this call.”
After nearly 14 years of marriage, I was taken aback. Both of us had endured a challenging week. I was swamped with work at the university during the chaotic start of the term, while Jake had taken on the bulk of parenting responsibilities at home. He only calls me during the day when something crucial needs to be discussed, and it was clear he had important matters on his mind.
Reflecting on that moment, I realized I had no valid excuse for my impatience. Earlier that day, I had engaged a colleague in a lengthy conversation about their upcoming weekend plans, giving them my full attention for nearly 20 minutes. Yet, when it came to my partner, I felt an overwhelming urge to end the call quickly.
Many working parents face the challenge of balancing work and home life, but in my case, I have the privilege of having a closed office door. I can easily step away from my tasks for a brief chat with my spouse. Our conversations have never lasted more than 10 minutes, so why was I so eager to rush off?
When Jake asserted his need for my attention, I didn’t take offense; instead, I recognized it as a sign of respect. I knew he wouldn’t say something like that lightly unless he felt frustrated and needed my focus. I took a moment to think about how often I might be sending the message that work is more important than our relationship, especially during those vital moments when he might only have that brief opportunity to connect.
So, I made the choice to prioritize our conversation. I stood up, closed my office door, and set aside my work to give him my undivided attention. We discussed our children’s needs, made plans for a meeting with our daughter’s teacher, and addressed an unusual issue with our bank account that required immediate action.
After 10 minutes, our discussion wrapped up, and Jake apologized for his earlier frustration. I took a deep breath, realizing that his request was quite reasonable. “No need to apologize; I should be the one saying sorry,” I replied. “I’ll make an effort to do better.” He expressed his gratitude, and we ended the call, both returning to our respective tasks.
This experience serves as a reminder that maintaining open lines of communication with our partners is essential, even during busy times. For more insights into navigating life’s challenges as parents, you might find this article on our other blog helpful. There are also valuable resources available, such as this one on pregnancy and home insemination from WebMD, which can guide you through your journey.
In summary, taking the time to engage fully with our partners, even amid our hectic schedules, is a vital part of nurturing our relationships. Prioritizing those conversations can foster understanding and strengthen our bonds.