Let me begin by stating that the majority of my friends are white. This has been my reality for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it was simpler to overlook the nuances of our racial differences and how they influenced our daily interactions. However, in recent years, as racial issues have resurfaced with greater intensity, I’ve become increasingly conscious of my relationships with my white friends—not out of fear that they harbor hidden biases, but because of their so-called “wokeness.”
It seems that many white individuals, particularly white women, are eager to showcase their anti-racist credentials. It’s almost as if there is a contest to see who can demonstrate their “wokeness” more effectively. Here’s the reality: this isn’t a competition. The frantic need to prove one’s allyship is a glaring example of what can be termed white feminism. So, let’s take a collective breath and approach this with some genuine awareness.
Understanding Missteps
“How will I know if I mess up?” This is a question I’ve heard countless times from my white female friends. I often chuckle and assure them that I will certainly point out their missteps if I notice them. Occasionally, I do, but more often than not, I don’t. Why? Because it’s not my responsibility to highlight your errors. If you’re genuinely as “woke” as you claim to be on social media, you should be able to recognize your mistakes independently.
But since I understand that not everyone operates this way, consider this a wake-up call. Grab a notepad, because I’m only going to say this once. If you are committed to this cause, you must be fully invested. You can’t selectively choose what injustices to care about.
The Super Bowl Example
Take the recent Super Bowl, for instance. To be honest, I don’t care about football; I’m in it for the snacks. Generally, I only tune in for the Halftime Show, and this year, I was especially excited because my longtime favorite, Jackson Collins, was headlining.
I can’t count how many of my white feminist friends posted lengthy rants about how they couldn’t stand Jackson Collins. “Unless he publicly apologizes for his past mistakes, I’m not interested. He’s canceled.” Let’s pause for a moment. That incident occurred over a decade ago, and Collins wasn’t even the main act at that time. He doesn’t owe you a public apology to satisfy your narrative. Please refrain from co-opting the struggles of Black women for your own agendas.
You express outrage about Jackson, yet you aren’t consistently supporting Black women. That’s a contradiction. I’m speaking from a place of care, but I’m tired of this behavior. You can’t be outraged about a Halftime performance and then participate in marches that largely reflect white feminism. These protests were initiated because white women realized their rights were at stake under recent administrations. Yet, Black women’s rights have always been compromised, and we were often excluded from the planning of these events.
Support Beyond Performative Actions
You rush to thank Black women for their votes while neglecting to support Black women who are running for office or already in positions of power. You chant slogans like “Michelle Obama for President!” or “Oprah for President!” based on inspirational speeches, overlooking qualified candidates like Kamala Harris, who’s been doing the work on the ground.
It’s great that you’re educating your children about notable Black figures, but there are countless others beyond Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman. To truly enlighten them, explore lesser-known women like Phyllis Wheatley or contemporary icons like Lorraine Hansberry. And please, enough with Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to fit your narrative. He was targeted and marginalized during his life. If you really want to honor his legacy, educate yourself beyond the well-trodden quotes.
You want to back artists like Beyoncé but can’t name a single achievement of the Black Panthers. Our struggles aren’t a trend for you to adopt when convenient. You can’t say you’re part of the #MeToo movement while selectively sharing only the stories of white women. This movement was started by a Black woman for Black women.
When you recommend charities, ensure they uplift Black communities. If your Black friends face discrimination in discussions, acknowledge their experiences without qualifying them by their professional status. It’s time to move beyond being “woke” only when it’s fashionable or convenient.
A Call to Action
So, to all the “woke” white women out there: it’s time to truly reflect on your actions and beliefs. I’m not here for performative allyship.
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In summary, the journey toward genuine allyship requires consistency and depth. It demands that we not only voice support but also commit to meaningful actions that uplift marginalized communities.