Maternity leave is a remarkable opportunity. After navigating the challenges of pregnancy while managing a full-time job, you’ve earned this precious time to bond with your little one. Congratulations! Yet, the transition to motherhood often comes with its own set of challenges. As if the demands of a newborn weren’t enough, there are external pressures from friends and family that can feel overwhelming. Why do people expect so much from new moms, especially when they’re in such a vulnerable period?
During my pregnancy, I faced unwelcome comments and unsolicited advice, which only added to the emotional strain of being a working mom-to-be. I found myself becoming more assertive, especially during my maternity leave, as I wanted to fully embrace this fleeting newborn phase. While I may have disappointed some along the way, here are the three things I refuse to apologize for:
1. Claiming My Baby for Myself
Surprisingly, new mothers are sometimes accused of “hogging the baby.” Let’s be clear: a mother cannot hog her own child. This is her baby, and maternity leave is a time for them to bond. I understand the excitement surrounding a newborn, but I won’t allow anyone to guilt me for wanting to hold my baby as much as I desire. My time with her is limited, especially with the reality of returning to work looming in the near future. My mother-in-law even tried to make me feel guilty for not sharing enough. I had to firmly remind her, “I’m her mom. I already won this competition.”
2. Setting Boundaries for Visitors
It’s thrilling to share news of a new baby, but that doesn’t mean I want surprise visits. I made it clear to family and friends that I would appreciate a heads-up—10 to 15 minutes is all I asked for. If someone disregards that, they can expect me to send them packing. My own mother has fallen victim to this rule. When she shows up unannounced, I kindly remind her that if her phone is dead, she should charge it before visiting. While this may seem rigid, it’s necessary. With a large dog and the unpredictability of a newborn, I need to avoid potential chaos. A courtesy call ensures no one walks in on me in a less-than-flattering situation.
3. Not Treating My Baby Like a Doll
I understand that certain outfits might seem adorable, but I refuse to treat my baby as a living doll. Those tiny clothes can be more trouble than they’re worth, often leading to leaks or discomfort. When family members questioned why my baby wasn’t wearing gifts they had chosen, I had to explain that practicality takes precedence over adorableness. Many of us are already aware of what outfits will serve us best during those early months. So please recognize that if it wasn’t on my registry, it’s probably not going to be used much during my short maternity leave.
The brief period of maternity leave can feel like a whirlwind, shifting from nurturing a newborn to jumping back into work without missing a beat. It’s essential to prioritize this time for yourself and your baby—unapologetically.
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Summary
Maternity leave is a crucial time for bonding with your newborn, and new mothers shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritizing their needs. It’s essential to set boundaries regarding visitors and to embrace the unique relationship with your child without external pressures.