Recently, a friend shared a comical meme on social media, featuring a vintage Nancy Drew cover with three girls burying something at night. The title read, “The Enigmatic Evening We Buried Our Last Worry.” It struck a chord with me! You see, the group of moms tagged in that post is infamous for gathering to lament the trials of motherhood. Truthfully, we often meet up to allow our kids to tire each other out, savor some coffee, and engage in a cathartic venting session.
I realize that many mothers might look down on us for this. They’d say we ought to be grateful, that we’re lucky, that our children are divine gifts. And yes, they are — I genuinely believe that. But let’s be honest, I’ve been a full-time mom for over five years, and sometimes, I just need to vent. If you’re the type of mom who feels blessed all the time — that’s fantastic! But I wouldn’t recommend joining my circle of friends anytime soon. We’re still in the thick of motherhood, navigating sleepless nights, devouring lunch while dishing out goldfish crackers, and training our bodies to only have bathroom breaks at 9 p.m. This is our reality — a beautifully chaotic blend of exhaustion and love.
There are moments when it feels like moms are stripped of basic rights. We can’t eat when hunger strikes, find a moment for ourselves, or even sleep when we’re fatigued. I once ran a red light because I was so sleep-deprived. While it’s illegal to drive under the influence of alcohol, exhausted moms are expected to push through and keep going.
Now, back to that meme. There was a time when I was one of those overly polished, “blessed” moms. I had dreamt my whole life of being a mother, and I was determined to excel at it. I read every parenting book, adhered strictly to guidelines, and tried every Pinterest idea. Most of the pressure came from within. I was striving for what I perceived as perfection, terrified of judgment. If I used a stroller instead of wearing my baby, I felt judged. If I chose bottle-feeding over breastfeeding, I sensed the disapproval. There was scrutiny for every decision — from letting my baby cry to holding them too much.
The judgment amplified when my son began throwing tantrums. Every public meltdown felt like a spotlight on my parenting failures. The more I felt others’ eyes on me, the more I pressured myself, leading to an overwhelming fatigue.
Then came the day I buried my last worry. I vividly remember that frigid day at Chick-fil-A, often referred to as the sanctuary for stay-at-home moms. The staff always made us feel appreciated, a rarity in our daily lives. We spent nearly an hour and a half there, letting the kids enjoy the play area. But when it was time to leave so Maddie could nap, I knew there would be resistance.
Sure enough, Maddie erupted into a full-blown tantrum, clearly overtired. I tried every trick, but nothing worked. Graham was also being difficult, refusing to put on his coat and shoes. So, I took a deep breath, grabbed my screaming toddler, and instructed Graham in my sternest “mom voice” to follow me, or face consequences. Picture it: Maddie was wailing, I was juggling coats and shoes, and Graham trailed behind, barefoot and whining. Sweat dripped down my brow as we trudged through the freezing cold.
Just before reaching the car, I noticed an older woman giving me a judgmental look. I could almost hear her internal monologue: “What kind of mother lets her kids act like that? She should have made them dress properly! What a terrible parent!” But instead of letting her gaze affect me, I smiled back. I knew I was doing my best, and the opinions of others no longer mattered.
I had finally buried my last worry, and in that moment, I felt liberated.
If you’re finding yourself navigating the ups and downs of motherhood, consider exploring additional resources on home insemination. For insights on the IVF process, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy at Parents. And if you’re looking for more information on self insemination, this guide from Make a Mom can be very helpful. You can also find more on our blog at Home Insemination Kit.
In summary, motherhood is a wild ride filled with challenges, exhaustion, and joy. It’s essential to find a support network where you can let your guard down and share the realities of parenting without fear of judgment.