As a stay-at-home parent, I find myself frequently taken aback by this recurring question: “Hey Eliza! What a lovely child! Are you home with them full-time? What ELSE are you up to?” When did raising a child at home stop being considered a significant endeavor?
Reflecting on this, I must admit I’ve been guilty of judging fellow stay-at-home parents, especially those with just one child. Honestly, how challenging could it be to care for a baby all day? Two children? Now that’s a real challenge, right?
Oh boy, was I mistaken. The early months can be incredibly tough, particularly for those who are breastfeeding. I had heard from many that I would feel exhausted and deprived of sleep, but nothing prepared me for the reality of endless sleepless nights.
By the three-month mark, many parents opt to return to work, especially in places like Nevada. I stumbled upon an article on my “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” app revealing that Nevada ranks as the third least favorable state for raising children—47th out of 50, which is disheartening!
The financial landscape here often necessitates that both parents join the workforce to make ends meet, leaving those who can stay home to face resentment from those who cannot, and judgment from others for not “doing it all” both at home and in their careers.
Society has transformed since I was a child; the emphasis has shifted from honoring the role of the stay-at-home parent to expecting them to juggle home life with work, extracurricular activities, and more. Movies like “Bad Moms” highlight the impossible standards we’re expected to meet.
As someone who strives for excellence, I found pregnancy to be particularly confining. Those limitations persisted post-birth. While my body started functioning again, my life felt divided into brief segments of time—20 and 60 minutes.
The key to thriving as a stay-at-home parent is accepting this reality. It involves selflessness—sacrificing your time, energy, and sleep to nurture a tiny human being. It also requires letting go of frustration when others question your productivity with comments like, “Why aren’t you doing more?”
Part of the issue lies in my own tendency to overachieve. I often grapple with the pressure of a long to-do list, realizing I may only manage to accomplish one task a day.
This journey has opened my eyes to how judgmental I have been towards other women. It’s taught me the importance of allowing others the freedom to make their own choices about how they spend their time. Instead of questioning those decisions, I should support them in remaining true to their paths.
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In summary, being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time commitment that deserves respect and recognition. It’s a challenging yet rewarding role, one that should not be overshadowed by societal expectations or misconceptions.