In the realm of self-improvement and parenting, there’s a phrase that I am ready to banish from my vocabulary: “Do your best.” It’s a mantra that has lingered in my life far too long, leaving behind a trail of guilt and unrealistic expectations. This phrase, cloaked in well-meaning intentions, has often pushed me into corners of self-doubt and frustration. This time, it’s not me; it’s the phrase that needs to go.
“Do your best” sounds so innocuous, but beneath its surface lies a sharp edge. Who can truly claim to be at their best all the time? Who is able to face every challenge with unwavering determination? Who executes every task flawlessly? Who manages to articulate their thoughts perfectly during a heated discussion? Let’s be honest… few can do this consistently.
Your “best” is commendable! I’ve witnessed it at birthday bashes, during heartfelt moments with friends, and even in the quiet dedication you display while caring for your loved ones. Your efforts shine brightly in the races you’ve trained for, the emotional speeches delivered at family gatherings, and the tender moments shared with those nearing the end of their journey. Yet, let’s face it: life often doesn’t fit into neatly curated posts on social media. The pressure to always present your best self can be overwhelming.
What if we allowed ourselves to step back and simply do what we can, rather than striving for an elusive “best”? The constant comparison to others or the unrealistic standards set by our inner critic can lead to burnout. We need to reconsider the phrase “always do your best.” It has become a demanding taskmaster that can leave us feeling inadequate.
When my kids are munching on cold cereal or instant mac and cheese because I couldn’t muster the energy to cook, is that truly my best? Of course not! There are days when “best” is an unattainable ideal. Not every run is a personal record, not every report card boasts straight A’s, and not every dish emerges from the oven unscathed. It’s essential to recognize that “best” isn’t the only acceptable outcome; sometimes, just doing what we can is perfectly fine.
When is “un-best” sufficient? There are nights when I mindlessly scroll on my phone, seeking a moment of peace. This might not be the most productive use of my time, but it’s what I need. When I wake up tangled in bed with my partner because I was too exhausted to enforce boundaries, that’s okay too. As my conversations with my tween shift from engaging discussions to terse exchanges, my efforts may falter, but that’s part of the journey. When my four-year-old refuses to get off the roof of the car in a busy parking lot, my parenting strategy may resort to bribery!
And yes, sometimes my kids exceed their allotted screen time, but I find it hard to be the “fun police.” When my daughter watches “Frozen” for the third time because I’m battling morning sickness or swamped with deadlines, I might not be at my best, and that’s alright. These moments may seem like excuses or justifications, but they reflect the reality of life.
What happens when things really get tough? When I lose my temper while juggling countless responsibilities, and my best is overshadowed by regret, I strive to make amends. When I’m simply trying to breathe amidst chaos, my best takes a back seat, making room for what I can manage at that moment.
So, why not embrace the idea of being authentic and imperfect? There’s beauty in the raw, complicated, and messy aspects of life. I now cherish the space I’ve created for mistakes and the moments that may not be perfect but bring joy nonetheless.
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In summary, it’s crucial to recognize that striving for perfection can lead to unnecessary stress and guilt. Embracing imperfection and doing what we can is often more fulfilling and realistic.