If you can believe it, there have been times when my spouse and I have not felt that deep, romantic connection everyone raves about. Shocking, right? You might think we’re one of those couples who gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes every night while recounting our love story, a scene straight out of a movie. But truthfully, we are not that couple. I can’t even remember the last time we locked eyes in a meaningful way (not because our love has faded, but because let’s be honest—that’s a bit odd).
Let me clarify: I adore my spouse. We have journeyed through life together, experiencing just about everything imaginable. While the initial thrill of romance may have faded, I genuinely believe that our relationship deepens and improves as we mature together. However, we are not at a stage where we can take things for granted just because we’ve been together for a while; we are still navigating the complexities of our union and learning how to coexist harmoniously.
Through these experiences, I’ve gleaned some insights about marriage that I think might help others. Although we’ve only been married for nearly five years, we’ve packed a lot into that time, and I feel equipped to share what I’ve learned. Here are five vital tips for thriving in a tough yet fulfilling marriage:
1. Work Through Issues Thoughtfully.
Seriously, I believe the phrase “never go to bed angry” is overrated. Sometimes, both of us need space and time to process our feelings after a disagreement. Resolving issues doesn’t always fit neatly within a single day. That’s perfectly alright. Remember, your union isn’t broken just because you need a bit longer to work things out. Just maintain love and respect during that time.
2. Always Go to Bed Together.
No matter what. This practice began unintentionally but has become a cornerstone of our relationship. Whether it’s watching sports or indulging in reality TV, we always end the day side by side. This small habit reinforces our bond, reminding us that even during tough times, we are still committed to one another. If you don’t currently do this, try it for a week and see how it affects your relationship.
3. Engage in Honest Disputes.
Speak your mind but avoid personal attacks. Both my partner and I can be fiery, and while we don’t excel at many things, we are skilled at arguing. We’ve often said hurtful things in the heat of the moment. It’s crucial to remember that when one of you is hurt, the other is too. Choose your words carefully and fight fair.
4. Consider Therapy.
Whether individually or as a couple, working with a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Some individuals prefer one-on-one sessions, while others find joint therapy more effective. I urge you to seek help when needed—trying to resolve everything on your own can be exhausting. If your partner is hesitant, go alone first. Show them the positive changes, and they may be more open to joining you later.
5. Avoid Questions You Don’t Want Answered.
This advice is especially for the ladies. Questions like “Does this outfit make me look bad?” can lead to tricky situations. Be prepared for honesty; if you’re not ready for the truth, it’s best to keep those queries to yourself. Instead, consult friends who are more likely to cushion the blow with kindness.
So there you have it: five essential pieces of advice for marriage. While this isn’t an exhaustive guide to eternal happiness, these insights have helped us through some tough times. So, hang in there, remember what brought you together, and maybe even take a moment to gaze into each other’s eyes. If nothing else, it’ll surely lead to a laugh.
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In summary, navigating marriage is an ongoing process of learning, respect, and growth. By incorporating these practices into your life, you can build a stronger foundation for your relationship.