By: Jessica Moore
Updated: Dec. 10, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 20, 2018
Let’s get candid: I’ve never experienced an orgasm solely from intercourse. For a long time, I questioned whether something was amiss, as I found that I needed additional stimulation to reach climax. Activities like oral sex or manual stimulation felt far more enjoyable than intercourse itself. Was I being unreasonable? Was I missing something? Over time, as I became more comfortable with my body, I spoke to other women about their experiences and discovered I wasn’t alone in this situation.
Research cited in an article from Reader’s Digest Best Health reveals that 80% of women cannot achieve orgasm through intercourse alone — they require extra stimulation. Yes, that’s a staggering 80%! So, pass me the vibrator and let’s communicate with our partners about how to enhance our pleasure. After all, everyone deserves to experience pleasure regularly!
It’s important to clarify that the issue isn’t about your partner’s size or performance; it’s about understanding the anatomy. Only about 20% of women can climax during intercourse because the clitoris needs direct attention to facilitate orgasm, not just penetration. As noted in the article, “the penis doesn’t provide enough direct or indirect stimulation on the clitoris to lead to orgasm.” This revelation has helped me understand that it’s not a failure on anyone’s part; many women report nearly reaching climax in certain positions but still require additional stimulation.
Just because the majority of us don’t orgasm during intercourse doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy it — women absolutely love sex! Some might even fake it out of concern for their partner’s feelings. However, our partners likely want to know how to please us better, whether that’s through manual stimulation, the introduction of toys, or learning our specific preferences. If they seem indifferent, that’s another issue to address.
There are numerous positions that allow for clitoral stimulation during intercourse, such as doggy style or cowgirl. You can also explore a delightful mix of intercourse followed by oral sex for a well-rounded experience. Think of it as an “oral sandwich,” a delicious way to enjoy pleasure.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing your desires in the bedroom. No one should feel compelled to fake satisfaction, nor should we let our partners believe they are effectively satisfying our needs when they aren’t. Remember, even if you and your partner don’t climax simultaneously, that doesn’t diminish the experience. In fact, it can prolong the enjoyment and encourage experimentation.
Above all, don’t feel ashamed if you’re not orgasming through intercourse; you’re in good company, as 80% of us share this experience. A caring partner will appreciate your honesty and want to ensure you’re satisfied, so don’t hesitate to communicate your needs.
For further insights on intimate relationships, check out our other blog posts at intracervicalinsemination.com. You can also explore Make a Mom for expert advice on home insemination. And for a deeper understanding of related topics, visit Genetics and IVF Institute.
In summary, the journey to sexual satisfaction varies for everyone, and understanding this can lead to a more fulfilling experience. Communication with your partner is key, ensuring that both parties are engaged in the quest for pleasure.