In light of the renewed urgency brought forth by Tarana Burke’s #metoo movement, I’ve come to recognize the disturbing reality of sexual harassment that I experienced during my middle school years. I was fortunate that most of my encounters were at the hands of an unremarkable classmate in the 8th grade, a boy who openly groped me, claiming my body as his to violate. While I can vividly recall the anger and disgust I felt during those encounters in our middle school locker area, I was never truly alone with him. Our interactions were limited to unwanted, public aggression.
Reflecting on those moments, it’s evident that this boy had never grasped the concept of consent. In the bustling corridors of our average suburban school, I would scream and struggle, desperately trying to appeal to whatever empathy he might possess, or at least create some space between us. Yet, my protests fell on deaf ears. He seemed convinced that my body was his to control, regardless of my cries for autonomy.
While my experiences may seem mild compared to the harrowing accounts shared by many, I understand the privilege I hold. I have never faced severe threats to my safety or lived in constant fear of being objectified. However, I also recognize that I lacked the tools to advocate for myself back then. I didn’t know that I had the option to seek help beyond merely fending him off while juggling my textbooks.
As a parent, I am acutely aware of the pervasive threat of sexual violence. My thoughts often revolve around how to safeguard my sons from becoming victims of predatory behavior. Is there a surefire way to ensure their safety during sleepovers? How do I discern whom to trust in various settings—be it school, community centers, or sports teams? I routinely check the sex offender registry whenever we relocate, and I tend to be more vigilant than many when it comes to monitoring their surroundings. My instinct compels me to frequently check in on them, even at the risk of appearing overprotective.
Equally important is the responsibility to teach them self-defense tactics. I explain the correct terminology for body parts and emphasize who has the right to touch them—and under what circumstances. I encourage them to be assertive and to seek help from trusted adults if they ever feel threatened.
Yet, as I witness the surge of #metoo stories, I often ponder, “How do I prevent my sons from growing into men who exhibit such harmful behavior?” It is an immense challenge to instill values in young boys—currently captivated by dinosaurs and robots—that they must never act entitled to invade someone else’s personal space or dignity.
I admit I am not fully equipped for this task. While I strive to model respect for others and their boundaries, I recognize that I may inadvertently reinforce societal norms that perpetuate disrespect towards bodily autonomy. Nevertheless, I remain committed to doing all I can, even as I acknowledge my limitations.
The #metoo movement has revealed the harsh truths of our world, and as a parent, it motivates me to ensure my children grow up to say #notme. This involves arming them with knowledge, respect for others, and the assurance that they will always have a safe space to share their experiences.
As we navigate the complexities of parenting in this age, it is essential to reflect on how we can influence the next generation, transforming the narratives of #metoo into a force for change that fosters a culture of respect and accountability.
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Summary
The article discusses the importance of parents taking proactive steps to protect their children from sexual assault and harassment. It highlights the need for open conversations about consent, bodily autonomy, and the responsibilities of raising boys to respect others. By sharing personal experiences and acknowledging the challenges of parenting in today’s climate, the piece calls for a commitment to fostering a culture of respect and accountability in future generations.