During my college years, I dabbled with small dildos, always in the company of a partner. They never intimidated me. Yet, I never ventured into the world of vibrators. My perspective was that they were only for those who struggled to achieve orgasm. Plus, I thought they seemed oddly impersonal—almost like engaging in robotic intimacy.
Fast forward ten years. After addressing some mental health challenges and beginning treatment with SSRIs, I noticed a significant decline in my libido. Over time, the situation worsened; my orgasms became less frequent, leading to an imbalance in our sexual experiences. Often, it felt as though someone wasn’t getting their fair share of pleasure.
One night, after the children were asleep, my husband handed me a small box. “I got you something,” he announced. I opened it to discover a vibrator. “Oh my goodness, you bought me a vibrator!” I exclaimed, a mix of surprise and skepticism flooding my mind.
“I thought it could help,” he replied. “I’ve heard from others that it’s like an instant orgasm.”
“I’m not using that,” I retorted.
He quickly clarified, “No, I’m the one who uses it. You just lay back and enjoy.”
That sounded much more appealing. “And it’s not robot sex, so don’t even think that,” he added reassuringly.
As we made love, he prepared the device—round, pink, and somewhat phallic in shape but still distinctly different. Once he turned it on and placed it on me, all my concerns vanished. I experienced pleasure like I hadn’t felt since my younger years. The vibrator shifted from “The Thing” to “My Toy,” quickly becoming a staple in our intimate moments.
My husband adeptly navigated the process of introducing this new element into our sex life. He initiated the conversation by presenting me with the gift, fully prepared to lose the investment if I rejected it. He understood the importance of communication before making such purchases. Had he asked for my input beforehand, I probably would have dismissed the idea entirely. I’m not one to buy such items at parties, but to each their own.
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He also granted me a crucial aspect: the ability to choose. While he took the lead, I still held the power to say no. Initially hesitant due to my unfounded biases, I eventually warmed up to the idea. If at any moment I had felt uncomfortable or awkward, I knew I could tell him to stop, which made me more willing to try something new.
Importantly, he addressed my concerns. He recognized my fear of “robot sex” and took the time to explain how it was different. Since he was controlling the device, it felt far less impersonal. His willingness to listen to my feelings made me feel valued and ultimately convinced me to give it a go.
This experience wasn’t just for me; it was a shared journey. While it primarily enhanced my pleasure, witnessing my enjoyment was equally fulfilling for him. It reinforced our bond rather than creating distance.
Now, I’m considering upgrading my vibrator. I’ve learned that as you explore higher-end options, they become less phallic and more innovative, with devices like the Hitachi wand gaining popularity. We’re even discussing the addition of cock rings, which signals a significant shift in my perspective on vibrators!
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In summary, incorporating a vibrator into our intimate life has significantly enhanced my relationship with my husband, fostering deeper connection and shared pleasure.