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At some point, you might find yourself in the somewhat uncomfortable situation of discovering your child exploring their own body. Yes, it can be awkward.
Many of us tend to view masturbation—especially when it comes to children—as something taboo or inappropriate. However, at its core, masturbation is simply a natural expression of self-exploration and pleasure. Kids are inherently curious and often seek out what feels good to them, whether that’s through play, movement, or yes, even touching their own bodies. This is particularly true when they are largely unaware of societal expectations and boundaries, leading them to engage in such behavior wherever they feel inclined, even in the living room with guests around.
While it is essential to guide our children to understand that such activities should occur in private settings, it’s equally important to avoid conveying shame about their natural curiosity. Instead of teaching them that masturbation is wrong, we can redirect them to understand privacy and appropriate behavior. Think about it: when a child digs their fingers into their nose, we don’t suggest that they should never clean their noses; we simply encourage them to use a tissue instead. It’s about providing a healthier alternative rather than instilling guilt about a common human experience.
Let’s be clear: the idea of sexual urges is normal and fundamental to human life. They are innate impulses that everyone experiences, starting from an early age. If we were to deny or shame these feelings, we wouldn’t be doing our children any favors. Rather than turning them into reckless individuals, normalizing these feelings helps them understand their bodies better.
No one enjoys having to discuss such topics with their children—the discomfort is real. As parents, we might wish to believe our little ones are asexual beings who would never touch themselves or anyone else, but denying the reality won’t make it go away. Avoiding the conversation only creates more significant issues down the line.
Shaming children for a natural behavior does not prioritize their well-being. While it may spare us from some awkward discussions, the question remains: who benefits from this? I believe it’s essential to equip our children with the knowledge and understanding they need to thrive.
Just as we eat when we’re hungry or scratch when we’re itchy, children will naturally explore their bodies. What’s crucial is teaching them to do so in an appropriate manner. Just like we expect them to wait until they are in the restroom to relieve themselves, we can instill similar boundaries for self-exploration. By removing the stigma around masturbation and guiding them on when and where it’s appropriate, we can foster a healthy understanding of their sexuality.
Ignoring these conversations may feel easier in the moment, but it could complicate things later. For further information on nurturing healthy relationships and understanding personal boundaries, check out this resource. Additionally, Make A Mom offers expert insights on related topics, and UCSF provides excellent resources for understanding fertility and home insemination.
Summary
It’s essential to understand that children exploring their bodies is a natural part of development. Instead of shaming them, we should guide them toward understanding privacy and the appropriateness of self-exploration. Conversations about sexuality can be uncomfortable, but they are crucial for fostering healthy attitudes and behaviors. Removing stigma around these topics can help children navigate their feelings safely and responsibly.