Let me be clear: I have a generously endowed bust. You know, the kind where you’d be halfway through the alphabet before stumbling upon my bra size? This “gift” from the Genetics Fairy came at the tender age of 11, attracting the unwanted attention of teenage boys and making even handstands a daunting task. (Seriously, I can’t breathe!) Thus began my long-standing struggle with breast size.
To all the B-cup ladies chuckling and saying, “Oh, just give me some of that,” I urge you to recognize your Tiny Titty Privilege. The struggles faced by well-endowed women are all too real, and trust me, I’d happily trade places with you in a heartbeat. If there were a breast tissue donation bus parked at Walmart, I’d be there all day, enjoying free snacks while donating my ample assets.
But since that’s not an option for me, ask me why I might feel a bit bitter. Go ahead, ask me.
Let me take you back to the day I purchased my first real bra. While my friends were happily browsing the cutesy A cups at Victoria’s Secret, I was sulking through the adult section at Sears, waiting for my turn to be measured by an elderly lady in floral prints who smelled like baby powder. When the moment finally came, I stepped into a dressing room that felt more like a circus tent and prepared for a thorough measuring session. The lady brought out a measuring tape and asked me to stand with my arms out, spinning around like a prize-winning watermelon.
“You must have some big-breasted women in your family,” she remarked dryly, adding to my preteen embarrassment. After jotting down my measurements, she returned with the only two options available: a Pepto-pink bra that looked like something my grandmother would wear or a flesh-toned contraption that resembled a post-surgical sling.
“Is this really it?” I squeaked, hopeful for more choices.
“You’re lucky we even have your size,” she replied. “We don’t usually carry anything larger.”
Larger? My heart sank at the realization that even a store like Sears, which seemed to have everything, couldn’t cater to me. I reluctantly accepted my fate, and my mom decided to buy both options. At checkout, I was shocked to see that those two unattractive bras cost as much as a small car payment.
“They’ll be so comfortable, dear,” she assured me.
Spoiler alert: They were not. They were ugly, pricey, and incredibly uncomfortable.
Fast forward two decades, and the situation hasn’t improved. I’ve spent years fumbling to connect hooks behind my back, endured back pain, and felt heartbreak when a seemingly perfect bra betrayed me with broken underwire. How is it that we can send humans to the moon, develop life-saving vaccines, and slice molecules with precision, yet we can’t create a comfortable, stylish, and affordable bra for larger breasts?
Seriously, can someone with resources please take this on? How challenging can it be to design supportive lingerie for breasts larger than Fuji apples? With the average bra size in the U.S. being a 34DD, this is a MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA.
I’m imploring innovators everywhere—NASA, Bill Gates, Shark Tank—to pay attention. We need a magical bra that caters to women like me. Women who avoid button-up shirts, wear multiple sports bras for a jog, and wouldn’t dare attempt a cartwheel for fear of injury.
Four thousand years ago, the Egyptians figured out how to lift two-ton blocks to build pyramids. Bra manufacturers, there’s no excuse for your inability to comfortably support five pounds of breast tissue. Let’s make affordable and decent bras for big-busted women a reality and ensure they come in more than just two unappealing colors.
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In summary, we desperately need better bras for women with larger breasts. The industry has overlooked this market for far too long. It’s time for innovation to step in and provide comfortable, stylish options that cater to our unique needs.