As I reflect on my relationship, I’ve come to adopt “I can get the milk myself” as my guiding principle for navigating marriage. Parenting young children can be incredibly challenging. When exhaustion sets in and I feel overwhelmed, it’s tempting to direct my frustration toward my partner, the one I chose out of billions to share my life with, and think, “Why am I the only one doing everything?”
Yet, I recognize that my husband, Nathan, is a dedicated father and a wonderful partner. We simply possess different strengths and often overlook what the other contributes. This realization often brings me back to the metaphor of the milk.
When we exchanged vows, our officiant asked me to share what I loved about Nathan. I recounted a story that resonated so strongly with her that she wove it into our wedding ceremony. I said, “Nathan is the kind of person who, when sent out for milk, might take a detour just to see where the road leads him. He might stop to pick flowers for me along the way or remember a book I mentioned three months prior and buy it as a surprise. He may forget the milk, but that’s fine because I can get it myself.”
Fast forward seven years, and we haven’t changed much. I excel at managing logistics—I have lists upon lists and contingency plans for every situation, which can sometimes feel overwhelming.
However, Nathan has grown into a partner who surprises me with chocolate, hiding it in unexpected places for those moments when I need a pick-me-up. He takes our son on spontaneous adventures, from chilly hikes to brunch at fancy restaurants, even when he’s not entirely prepared. When patience wears thin, he’s the one who walks the baby around the house. Despite occasionally forgetting the milk, he adds balance to our family dynamic and enhances my parenting experience.
In moments of frustration caused by the daily demands of our little ones, I try to remember the wanderer I fell in love with—who can seamlessly transition into every character from Frozen while our son plays along. And yes, I can always get the milk myself.
As parents, we are unique individuals, shaped by our experiences beyond just motherhood. It’s essential to have spaces where we can discuss matters beyond our children. For more on parenting and the journey of self-insemination, check out this excellent resource here and discover the home insemination kit that can assist in your journey. For those interested in more insights, visit our blog here.
In summary, embracing the idea that I can handle tasks myself has allowed me to appreciate the unique contributions my partner brings to our family. By recognizing our differences and strengths, I find balance and joy in our shared parenting journey.