I definitely identify as a wine-loving mom. The moment the clock strikes five, I pour myself a glass of Merlot. By the time I head to bed, the bottle is usually empty, and I find myself either tipsy or very close to it. Some nights, I manage to pace myself, especially if I have a demanding day ahead. Yet other nights, my sole aim is to indulge heavily.
Don’t try to convince me that a glass or two is enough. If that’s all I can have, I’d rather not drink at all. This relationship with alcohol feels like a game, a challenge to see how much I can consume without attracting attention — or collapsing into bed first.
But do I have a drinking problem?
I don’t partake every day, and when I’m home alone with the kids, I abstain entirely. I always wait until after five to start drinking and aim to be asleep by nine, hoping to recover by morning. However, some mornings after a heavy night are excruciating. I drag myself out of bed, battling a pounding headache and a queasy stomach. I have responsibilities — kids to care for — which makes it impossible to simply sleep off the discomfort like I used to. Plans for the day often devolve into a struggle to manage my hangover while postponing chores and activities until tomorrow.
But do I have a drinking problem?
My father was an alcoholic. He would start drinking beer before 9 AM and switch to gin by afternoon. He drove us to school and practice while hiding his drinks all over the house. Even he eventually admitted to being a raging alcoholic and seemed resigned to it.
I drink wine like so many mothers I see on social media. I self-medicate to cope with kid tantrums, the pressure of juggling everything, and the monotony of being at home all day. I consider myself somewhat in control, never driving under the influence, and keeping my intoxication mostly in check. Yet I plan my time around when I can have my next drink — at a networking event on Thursday or during a date night with my husband on Saturday. Once I start drinking, my focus shifts solely to how I can get my next glass. The thought of moderation feels foreign; it’s only when I reach that point of blackout that I know it’s time to stop.
Physically, I’m healthy. My vitals are all normal, and I maintain a balanced diet and exercise regularly. However, this near-daily obsession with drinking is wreaking havoc on my life. It demands more and more each night, leaving me with guilt and shame each morning. It hinders my ability to be the mom, wife, friend, and person I aspire to be, limiting my potential for greatness — for myself and my family.
Every one of my friends enjoys wine. We joke about “wine o’clock” and gather for girls’ nights, downing bottles like they’re going out of style. We all believe that a little alcohol makes parenting less exhausting and more entertaining. Surely, not all of us can be alcoholics; we’re just women looking for a break. I’m simply a mom in need of an outlet.
I’m intelligent, active, and surrounded by a loving family. I have people who depend on me and who could walk away if I don’t get my life together. My little ones rely on me for their well-being and need me to be focused and sober.
But do I have a drinking problem?
The answer is a clear yes. It’s time to seek recovery.
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Summary:
In this candid reflection, Jenna Sullivan shares her struggle with alcohol consumption as a means of coping with the challenges of motherhood. Although she doesn’t drink every day, her relationship with wine raises concerns about her well-being and responsibilities. Despite maintaining good health, Jenna recognizes that her drinking habits hinder her potential as a mother and partner. This article serves as a poignant reminder of the hidden struggles many face and the importance of seeking help.