Anxiety. Yes, I have anxiety.
Wow, just admitting that feels like a relief. But wait—why don’t I feel better? Isn’t this something we’re supposed to keep to ourselves? It seems like the only options are to either manage it privately or rely solely on a doctor. But medication? No way! Therapy? Does that mean I’m flawed? My life looks so perfect from the outside, so what could possibly be causing my anxiety?
In the past year, our family has experienced a mix of fortune and hardship. My eldest, Mia, is excelling in school, my partner and I both received promotions, and my middle child has shown remarkable improvement. Yet, the most challenging moment was learning that my mother’s health was deteriorating. This has undoubtedly been the toughest year of my life.
Lately, my anxiety has skyrocketed. And you know what? I need to talk about it. Why? Because I can’t tackle this alone! How often have you confided in someone about your struggles, only to find a kindred spirit? Sharing doesn’t weaken us—it empowers us. Seeking help doesn’t show weakness; it demonstrates our humanity.
Brené Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, states: “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.” I embrace my imperfections—even if that means biting my nails, raising my voice, or occasionally indulging in too much wine. Through it all, I know I’m a good parent. In fact, my anxiety has enhanced my parenting skills, and some may think that sounds crazy.
Let me clarify: my anxiety has made me a better mom.
My eldest, Mia, has begun exhibiting signs of anxiety herself. She becomes physically ill when she faces setbacks, and she often shuts down under pressure. My experiences allow me to recognize her struggles and guide her through them. I can sit quietly with her for hours, simply providing comfort when others might give up.
My youngest, Lily, becomes so overwhelmed when she feels unheard that she struggles to breathe. We’ve found that making eye contact and breathing deeply together helps her regain composure. While I hope she doesn’t inherit anxiety, I’m here for her if she does.
Whenever I face an anxiety episode or a panic attack, I’ve learned to communicate with those around me. This gives me permission to step back and focus on my breathing without worrying about others’ perceptions. Since I opened up to friends, family, and coworkers about my anxiety, I’ve felt an immense wave of support. It’s liberating to share my struggles instead of isolating myself in the bathroom for a silent cry.
I wish every workplace was as understanding of mental health as mine has been for the past six years. Unfortunately, not everyone shares that perspective. I recently encountered someone who insisted, “You just have to train your mind to work through it.” When I mentioned the chemical factors involved in anxiety, they replied, “I managed mine without medication, so others can too.”
Instead of dictating what others should do, I believe our role as humans—especially as women and mothers—is to ask, “How can I help?” or even better, “I’ll take care of this for you.” Sheryl Sandberg shared that after her husband’s death, the most helpful thing a friend did was to take the initiative without asking. “I’m coming over with coffee. What do you want on your bagel?”
During a panic attack, I can handle a bagel order, but coming up with a list of ways others can support me? That’s a challenge. While asking how you can help is kind, offering specific assistance is often more effective.
Since I started sharing my experiences with anxiety, I’ve felt a tremendous amount of encouragement. Friends are stepping in to support me during tough times and understanding when I decline events I would have previously attended.
Dealing with mental health issues is not a sign of weakness; it’s the strength to vocalize our challenges that helps us cope. I hope anyone grappling with anxiety feels empowered to seek support. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out—I’m here to listen. Sharing my journey has been one of my best decisions, and I encourage you to do the same if it feels right for you.
Thank you to my supportive friends and family. Your kindness means the world to me.
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