“Mom, can I bake something?” my eight-year-old daughter, Emma, asked eagerly as she entered the kitchen. Naturally, she was asking at the very moment I had just spent two exhausting hours preparing, cooking, serving, and cleaning up after a dinner that comprised six different dishes to satisfy our family of five. I sighed heavily.
“Not right now, sweetheart. I just finished tidying up, and it would create too much of a mess.”
As if she had anticipated that response, she meandered off, likely to watch another episode of some mind-numbing sitcom on a streaming platform. Reflecting on those moments, I feel a twinge of embarrassment about how often that dialogue played out. Sure, I occasionally allowed Emma to assist me in the kitchen. I considered myself a fairly good cook and an enthusiastic baker. However, I confined her to tasks I deemed suitable for her age: gathering ingredients, pouring, and mixing. I didn’t let her crack the eggs for fear of shells contaminating the batter. I didn’t trust her to wash the bowls thoroughly. The stove and oven were off-limits because she might burn herself.
To placate her, I would often say, “I don’t need any help now, but you can be the taste tester once I’m done.”
Then, one fateful evening, everything changed. I strolled into our den to find Emma engrossed in a show on the Food Network called “Chopped Junior.” I took a seat beside her and, for the next 20 minutes, I was mesmerized by the sight of kids her age expertly maneuvering around a kitchen, displaying skills that surpassed those of many adults I knew.
These young chefs chopped with precision, sautéed, boiled, and even pan-seared dishes. One child made a roux — what even is a roux? I found myself astonished by how these kids could be so adept and knowledgeable in the kitchen. And then it hit me: they had all been told “YES” at some point.
Right then, I made a commitment to myself. From that moment on, every time Emma asked to participate in the kitchen, my answer would be “yes.”
- “Mom, can I bake cookies?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I make scrambled eggs?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I whip up some Mac-n-Cheese?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I prepare a quesadilla?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I create homemade frosting?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I use all your baking supplies to concoct my own recipe?” Oh boy… Yes.
And so began my chaotic yet enlightening experiment. Initially, it was messy and required a lot of supervision as she learned to navigate the oven, the gas range, and the timers. My countertops seemed to perpetually bear sticky remnants of her efforts, and the sink overflowed with bowls, pots, and pans. Yet, I rarely had to repeat instructions. The more I said yes, the more she wanted to do. Before long, she was searching for recipes online and following them independently. I found myself taking a step back, watching her skills and confidence blossom.
Fast forward a year, and I can confidently say this was one of the best parenting decisions I’ve ever made. My children, aged 18, 15, and 9, have taught me a thing or two about decision-making. Emma could now prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert if necessary. She can crack an egg with one hand (a feat I still can’t master) and sauté broccoli like a pro. Her homemade chocolate cupcakes are simply the best.
The life skills and self-confidence Emma has gained are invaluable. The mess and time invested were worth every moment. I encourage fellow parents to truly consider when their child asks to partake in any activity, especially one that might teach them a new life skill. The initial investment of time and energy can lead to significant long-term benefits.
For example, tomorrow I need to bring 24 cupcakes to a potluck. As I write this article, I can relax knowing that the cupcakes are in capable hands. And if I’m lucky, I might even get to be the taste tester.
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Summary
A transformative experience while watching “Chopped Junior” inspired me to change my parenting approach, allowing my daughter to explore her culinary skills. This decision not only fostered her independence but also taught her valuable life skills. The journey has reinforced the importance of encouraging children to engage in activities that can enhance their self-confidence and capabilities.