Amber Tamblyn is making it clear that discussions about the redemption of men accused of sexual misconduct have no place in the current conversation about women’s empowerment and healing. In a compelling op-ed for The New York Times, Tamblyn emphasizes the need to shift the focus from the perpetrators to the victims who have long suffered in silence.
The impetus for her essay arose during a conversation with two notable writers, one male and one female, discussing the fallout from the recent wave of sexual harassment allegations. The male writer attempted to differentiate between the misconduct of individuals like Louis C.K., who exposed himself to female colleagues, and Harvey Weinstein, whose actions included far more severe crimes such as rape and coercion. He argued, “We shouldn’t lump them all together.” The female writer firmly countered, “Yes, we can and we will. Choosing consequences doesn’t belong to you anymore.”
This exchange prompted the male writer to pose a question: “Do you believe in redemption?” To which Tamblyn offered a powerful rebuttal: “It’s a valid question. But why should we discuss men’s redemption when we are at the start of women’s salvation? Why should we prioritize the careers of these men when we are only beginning to share our stories?” Her words resonate deeply, highlighting that the focus should remain on the victims rather than on salvaging male careers.
Tamblyn poignantly notes, “We’ve been silent because we’ve been silenced.” Now, women are stepping forward to share their experiences, and for the first time, consequences are being enforced. This moment is more than just significant; as she describes, it’s a transformative period—a flash-flood point in society.
Despite the progress, there are voices of concern within the entertainment industry about the fallout. “There’s a lot of collateral-damage dread,” she mentions, referring to individuals fearing the repercussions of such decisive actions. The swift downfall of figures like Matt Lauer illustrates the harsh reality: if you don’t want to face immediate consequences, then don’t engage in abusive behavior.
Tamblyn argues that cultural change is only possible if we draw a clear line regarding what is unacceptable. The consequences for harassment and assault are severe: they lead to a disappearance from the public eye. However, she adds a sobering note about the potential for these men to return after some time with mere apologies, suggesting that they would need to find a “new power” if they wish to reintegrate into society.
In her closing thoughts, Tamblyn asserts that “redemption must be preceded by atonement.” It cannot be freely given; it must be earned. If these men wish to make amends, they need to recognize the lines that have been drawn and choose to stand with the victims.
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In summary, Tamblyn’s op-ed challenges society to prioritize the stories and healing of women rather than the redemption of men accused of serious misconduct. It’s a call to action for genuine change where accountability is paramount.