By: Amara Johnson
I breastfed my child for three and a half years. Yes, that’s correct. And frankly, I’m not concerned about anyone’s opinions on that. I anticipated the challenges that would come with weaning, but what I didn’t foresee was my son’s continued fixation on my breasts. It’s understandable that after finding comfort there for so long, he would have a hard time letting go, yet it can become quite overwhelming. A significant factor behind my decision to wean was that I often felt “touched out.”
I had never imagined that I would nurse a toddler, which made the weaning process anxiety-inducing, especially since my son appeared deeply attached to nursing. Surprisingly, the transition was relatively quick, indicating that he might have been more ready than I realized. However, while he was able to stop nursing, he still sought closeness with my breasts.
Though his intentions are innocent, there are times when I simply don’t want him touching me. This is a common experience for mothers of toddlers who have recently weaned. Dr. Emily Brooks from Aha! Parenting highlights this phenomenon, noting that it’s quite common for toddlers to seek comfort through breast contact for up to a year post-weaning.
My son was used to nursing as soon as he woke up, so I’ve noticed he tends to cuddle up to my chest first thing in the morning. He sometimes buries his face there while sleeping, as we still co-sleep, but these moments don’t last long. He just needs to feel my presence, and my breasts represent the comfort he craves.
Of course, there are times when I need my personal space, and as his mother, I have the right to set boundaries. Weaning has provided a valuable opportunity to instill lessons about body autonomy. When he touches me when I don’t want him to, I explain, “Just like there are times you don’t want me to touch your body, I don’t want you to touch mine right now.” He understands, albeit with some disappointment.
Wearing a bra helps minimize the interaction; when he can’t see my nipples, he often forgets about my breasts entirely. Dr. Brooks emphasizes that while we may not talk about it openly, weaning can be a challenging experience for little ones. When viewed through this lens, his urge to touch my breasts becomes clearer. It’s a way for him to cling to the comfort nursing provided for so long. Sometimes he approaches me, places his head on my chest, and says, “I love you, Mommy.” It’s almost as if he’s expressing gratitude for the comfort he received.
Since we’ve stopped nursing, he has become more affectionate in different ways, which is wonderful. Recently, after cutting his finger, he snuggled in my lap to watch a movie, something that would have previously involved nursing. This time, I could simply relish the quiet moment without feeling overwhelmed.
It’s important to remember that this post-weaning attachment isn’t permanent. Dr. Brooks mentions that, on average, it lasts about a year, but this varies for each child. In the early months, it may feel intense, but it should gradually diminish. Acknowledge your child’s needs while establishing boundaries that suit you. Rest assured, the fixation on breasts will eventually wane.
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In summary, weaning a toddler can lead to unexpected challenges, including a persistent desire for physical closeness. It’s vital to set boundaries while understanding your child’s emotional needs. With time, the attachment to nursing will diminish, allowing for new forms of affection to blossom.